


heart, heart!

by tremmy_chii



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe - Idols, Anal Sex, Bottom Im Jaebum | JB, Don't copy to another site, First Time, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Sexuality Crisis, well except for the fact that jaebum's a solo artist bUT
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-13
Updated: 2019-02-13
Packaged: 2019-10-27 10:43:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17765285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tremmy_chii/pseuds/tremmy_chii
Summary: Bambam and Jaebum just happen to go to the same pet shop because their munchkins happen to love the same boujee-ass cat food... which means they happen to have a lot in common.It's not that strange. They're friends! Bambam has no idea what the hell Yugyeom and Youngjae keep going on about.





	heart, heart!

**Author's Note:**

> thank you to m and n for helping me come up with the idol group name for bambam, youngjae, and yugyeom! I think the first suggestion that came up was The Thots or something along that line but... well, y'all know why that didn't make the cut LMAO. what a shame!
> 
> title comes from Twice's Likey :')
> 
> this was INCREDIBLY difficult to write...(((I hate everything about it))). I really don't know wtf possessed me into doing this. (well, ok, it was definitely the high of realizing that somebody...out there...actually submitted a bbam prompt sCREAMS) it's 3am and I'm Mega Tired, I'll be back to format the pics better. maybe. 
> 
> prompt #55: idolverse where jb and bam bond over their cats and possibly become more

 

 

Bambam tips on his toes, arm reaching up to grab the most expensive brand of cat food on the top shelf before the little pet shop closes. When he tugs on the bag to bring it towards him, he’s surprised to feel an opposite force pulling on it as well from the other side. Whoever is holding onto the bag pushes it to the side, and they make eye contact through the gap on the shelf.

 

“Oh,” Bambam says. The sound is muffled by his face mask.

 

“Oh,” he hears the man echo back at him. He smiles. “It’s you.”

 

“It’s me,” Bambam chuckles, eyes turning into twinkling crescents. He lets go of the bag. “You can have it.”

 

“No, it’s okay. You can have it. I’m sure there’s more behind the counter.”

 

 _Yes_ , Bambam fist pumps in his head. Sure, it’s a little selfish, but Bambam actually really wanted to have it. His baby, a little munchkin cat, is a spoiled princess who won’t eat anything other than this ridiculously priced brand of organic cat food. On the off chance that there isn’t any more behind the counter, Bambam won’t have to deal with the heartache of watching Cupcake mewl with hunger. He didn’t plan to be this whipped for a cat when he finally got the freedom to move out of the dorms. It just kind of _happened_ … much like everything else in his life.

 

“Thank you.” Bambam grabs the bag before the man can change his mind.

 

They both walk towards the cash register in parallel, separated by the shelf between the two aisles before meeting up once it ends. The man is a step ahead of him and immediately asks the employee if they have any of the specific brand in stock. There is - so the girl heads to the stockroom in the back, leaving them alone for a few moments.

 

Bambam tries not to look at him too much - because that’s just awkward and definitely really creepy… even if he’s super handsome in just his bare face. Bambam would know the feeling firsthand.

 

The girl comes back with the cat food and they make a quiet exchange of cash. He steps aside for Bambam to make his purchase while putting the coins back into his wallet, crumpling up the receipt. Bambam automatically reaches around to the back pocket of his jeans to whip out his wallet.

 

It’s not there.

 

He tries shoving his hand into the big pocket of his hoodie, but it’s obviously not there either.

 

“Oh god.” He pats down the front of his jeans too, just to make sure. _Ugh_ , how embarrassing! Bambam probably left it in the bag with his manager. “I’m sorry,” he sighs. “I forgot my wallet, I’ll be right back-!”

 

“I can get the tab for you.”

 

 _What_. “Oh!” Bambam flounders. “Oh, no, that’s okay, I know where I left it, I can come right back.”

 

“The shop’s closing soon.” They both look at the clock. “Would you be able to make it in time?”

 

Well. He got Bambam there.

 

Since Bambam’s been effectively silenced, he smiles and pays for Bambam’s portion too.

 

“Thank you for your patronage.”

 

They all bob their heads to complete the transaction, and Bambam hesitantly holds Cupcake’s stupidly expensive lifeline in his hands. The two of them exit the store.

 

“Thank you, Def sunbae-nim.” The moment it comes out of his mouth, he knows it sounds wrong. “Jaebum sunbae-nim??” Bambam corrects with an embarrassed squeak. _God_ , if it weren’t for his face mask right now he would’ve just buried himself on the spot.

 

Jaebum raises an eyebrow at him, lips twitching into an amused smile. “No problem, Bambam-ssi.”

 

“Just Bambam is fine!”

 

Jaebum nods.

 

“I - uhm. Is it alright if I get your number? So I can pay you back?”

 

“Sure.”

 

This isn’t the first time they’ve encountered each other at this particular pet shop, but this is the first opportunity they’ve had to exchange contacts.

 

Bambam arrives home to Cupcake’s meowing, paws clawing on his leg to be carried. He feeds her, as well as his other cats, and lounges on his leather sofa, watching the sun set from his windows. After wiring his due amount to Jaebum online, he briefly wonders,

 

_What now?_

 

What should he do, now that he has Korea’s number one R&B artist and hit producer in his contacts list?

 

-

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/146851312@N03/46318487084/in/dateposted-public/)

-

 

“Oh…” Bambam exhales softly. “He liked it.”

 

There's enough wonder in his voice that Yugyeom actually bothers to open his eyes and look at Bambam through the mirror. He and Youngjae can't move much - they're both getting their hair and makeup done for another day of promotions. Bambam is the only one done, and of course, he's glued to his phone. It's barely 5AM in the morning.

 

“Who liked what, now?” Yugyeom asks.

 

Youngjae continues to warm up his throat with loud singing exercises, but his eyes shift over to Bambam too.

 

“Def,” Bambam turns his phone over as if his two group members can see the screen from this distance. “He liked my post. There's also an emoji in the comments.” He bites down a grin, inwardly squealing.

 

-

 

The internet, to put it quite simply, goes nuts.

 

The first hour of speculation revolves around the fact that Def wasn’t even following Bambam in the first place - which means that he had to make the effort to _search_ Bambam’s instagram handle before liking _and_ commenting. Bambam follows him right after he discovers the comment. Def completes the mutual within five minutes.

 

Now, everyone is screaming at the possibility of a collaboration. Hah. Bambam _wishes_.

 

“How did you even meet him?” Yugyeom scratches his head. He spreads his legs to lower his height for a staff member to wipe away his sweat. The hairstylist uses this opportunity to spray more gel onto his bangs. Youngjae is in his own world, practicing the choreography for their second song in a corner. They just finished pre-recording the title track performance and now they’re on standby while the stage gets rearranged. Bambam is changing into his second outfit while a makeup artist reapplies gloss to his full lips.

 

It’s a valid question. As an idol group of only three members, they don’t do many individual activities because they’re small enough to be packaged together in every CF offer, variety show appearance, and more. They just work better as a trio, having spent nearly all of their youth training together. Only Youngjae gets to record drama OSTs now and then since he’s an acknowledged main vocal, but those recordings still occur within the JYP building. Essentially, they rarely have a life outside of each other’s eyesight.

 

The makeup artist tells him to smack his lips together, so Bambam does just that before replying. “We go to the same pet store.”

 

“Really? At the same time?”

 

“I don’t see him _every_ time I go there.” Bambam thinks about their last encounter and winces. “It’s actually kind of awkward.”

 

Yugyeom scoffs. “Yeah, I’d imagine so, considering how you have a _huge boner_ over his music.”

 

“ _Shut up_!” Bambam barks while Yugyeom snickers away like the little shit that he is. “...His albums are good!” He can’t help but defend anyway.

 

“I never said they weren’t.”

 

In fact, Def’s newest song, “Blind”, is the reason why they’re being blocked from an all-kill on the charts right now. It’s not entirely unexpected. Sweet Talk are competing against what Korea would call a digital monster. Every single Def has released since 2016 have been big hits. Their manager calls it unfortunate timing, but Bambam doesn’t really mind. He’s grateful to achieve the results they currently have; he knows their fans are working hard day and night to get them up so high. Besides - their album sales are going through the roof. It’s only the third day and they’re nearly hitting five hundred thousand copies; probably more if stores weren’t constantly selling out.

 

“So, are you two friends?” Yugyeom asks.

 

Bambam pauses. “I don’t know.”

 

-

 

Bambam doesn’t hear from Def - Jaebum? - until the next week, when Sweet Talk gets their first win for the title track “Stella.” “Stella” is the track that marks the end of their album trilogy that began since last year. It started with Yugyeom as the center, representing the sun. “Solis” was a fitting hit for the summer that really propelled their rapidly growing popularity to new heights. Youngjae was the moon for the last comeback in October, and “Luna” could be heard playing in every other coffee shop in the nation.

 

Bambam’s not going to lie - being the very last center in the final part of the trilogy has been incredibly pressuring. After how well the last two comebacks had gone, there was a lot of hype and expectation built up during the two weeks preceding the album drop. Bambam wasn't sure if he could meet such high standards - still thinks he's lacking even as their song continues to defend itself at the top of the charts.

 

“Get some sleep, boys. And remember - no ramen. The fansign starts early tomorrow!” Their manager reminds them as he herds the trio into the van.

 

“Yes, hyung,” they chorus tiredly. It's been a long day - a good one, but hard nonetheless. They should be feeling lucky to get - what, four hours of sleep? Bambam checks the time. No, three and a half.

 

A mountain of used stage outfits occupy one of the middle seats, so Yugyeom and Youngjae duck into the back row. Within seconds of strapping their seatbelts in, they're knocked out cold on each side of the window with a small pillow. Bambam sits by himself in the remaining middle seat. He should be utilizing his time to get as much sleep as possible too, but his hands automatically reach for his phone. Bambam just can’t resist the lure of social media after spending a whole day without it. It’s part of his nightly routine to check on his fans’ reactions, even if just for a little bit.

 

Surprisingly, the first thing that illuminates from his screen is a text notification from Def.

 

Bambam whips his head back to make sure that the others are really sleeping. He has no idea why he’s feeling secretive, but he still carefully hunches over and dims the brightness before checking the text. He sucks in a deep breath and agonizes over how to reply. It’s stupid, because all he really has to do is say “thank you.”

 

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/146851312@N03/47078780151/in/dateposted-public/)

Then, an acute sense of anxiety bubbles up his stomach when he sees Def coming online. Okay. His message has been seen. Now what?? Bambam shakes his leg up and down, staring intently at his phone. Maybe Def will say something if he waits long enough. And _ugh_. Bambam barely holds back from doing a facepalm. He still doesn’t know how to address the other man - he keeps going back and forth between Def and Jaebum in his head and if _Bambam’s_ feeling this awkward, it must be tenfold the weirdness for Def. Jaebum.

 

God help him.

 

Bambam doesn’t have many opportunities to make friends like this. He wonders what other people call him.

 

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/146851312@N03/46355300624/in/dateposted-public/)

Bambam lets out a squeal out of excitement - and immediately turns around to see if he’s woken up the others. Nobody moves in the back, and his manager only spares him a glance from the rear-view mirror before focusing on the road again.

 

Jaebum… likes their song? That’s such an honor, Bambam has no idea where to begin. He would have never imagined their idol pop songs being anywhere “good enough” for someone like Jaebum. Not to say that Bambam, Yugyeom, and Youngjae don’t put their heart and soul into their music. It’s just… different. Even with their massive success, there’s still prejudice from the general public about idol groups being “manufactured.”

 

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/146851312@N03/32137063527/in/dateposted-public/)

Before Bambam can bite his fist for sounding too much like a fanboy, Jaebum responds.

 

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/146851312@N03/47078780071/in/dateposted-public/)

Bambam smiles, pleasantly surprised.

 

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/146851312@N03/46355300494/in/dateposted-public/)

By the time Yugyeom and Youngjae wake up and their manager drops them off at their respective houses, Bambam realizes he hasn’t slept a wink like he should have. Once Jaebum steered the conversation towards their cats, it became way easier to keep talking - and he didn’t have to think too hard about what to say. Even when he heads inside and gets underneath the covers, his eyes are still glued to his phone, reading and replying to Jaebum’s texts.

 

Soft chuckles fill up the rest of the night as Bambam rolls around in bed, sharing his favorite pictures of his cats and cooing at Jaebum’s in return.

 

He’s not even mad when the sun rises right before his eyes, and Latte starts meowing outside his door as per every start of a new day. If anything, he’s just a little disappointed that he has to end it so soon.

 

-

 

During lunch break, Bambam gets a snap.

 

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/146851312@N03/46355301434/in/dateposted-public/)

He automatically sits up straighter, beaming happily at the picture with his cheeks stuffed full of kimbap. Yugyeom peers over his shoulder and snorts. Of course. Another cat picture. Naturally, Bambam scrolls through his camera roll to send one back.

 

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/146851312@N03/47078780841/in/dateposted-public/)

The only thing truly concerning about this is that Yugyeom gets away with stealing food off of Bambam’s plate. The lack of reaction scares Yugyeom enough to make him put the piece of kimbap back quietly. He shuffles over to Youngjae, and tattles on Bambam’s strange behavior.

 

-

 

The next time they meet, it isn’t a coincidence. Cupcake’s food supply has run low again, and when Bambam had briefly mentioned it to Jaebum, the other had immediately suggested they make a trip to the pet shop.

 

Bambam is still in full makeup, having just come off of a talk show recording. Meanwhile, Jaebum is just in an oversized hoodie and baggy jeans, hair a soft mess and face unshaven. Bambam thinks he looks handsome regardless - he just has… an _aura_ around him. He’s manly - different. He doesn’t have to try to be alluring. Jaebum just looks naturally cool while Bambam has to get up early to painstakingly coordinate his outfit, do his hair, and dedicate at least half an hour every day to his skincare routine. Granted, Bambam’s appearance is a huge part of his occupation, but he’s still envious of someone like Jaebum, who can relax and wear whatever he wants. There’s charm in looking casual and slightly rugged. Maybe the broad shoulders contribute a lot to it.

 

Bambam tries not to be too self-conscious about their differences, even though a peek at their reflections in the glass window has him peering at the floor, shuffling on his heeled boots awkwardly.

 

He smiles shyly as Jaebum approaches him with a wave.

 

“Hey.”

 

“Hi, sunbae-nim.”

 

Jaebum smiles sheepishly, scratching his head. “Uhm… ‘hyung’ is fine.”

 

“Oh.” Bambam purses his lips, embarrassed about being too formal. “Okay.” He clears his throat and tries again. “Hi, Jaebum hyung.”

 

Jaebum’s smile widens, and Bambam decides he likes the look of that. He doesn’t look anywhere near as intimidating as he does in his photos on Instagram or magazine photoshoots. Jaebum is actually super friendly, based on their texts and that one time he paid for Bambam’s cat food without fanfare. He seems dependable - “hyung” already sounds so familiar even though Bambam’s only said it once so far. Then again, Bambam would probably trust anyone who loves cats with his life.

 

“You know, I have a munchkin named Cake,” Jaebum starts as they both walk inside and head towards the dry food section. “And she's the picky one too.”

 

“Really?” Bambam's mouth forms an 'o’ in wonder.

 

Jaebum nods. “You think all munchkins are as spoiled as ours?”

 

“Probably not… I just can't help it. I see their little legs and my heart wants to burst,” Bambam clutches his chest, already imagining Cupcake doing her best to run to him when he gets home.

 

They sigh dreamily in unison, and turn to each other in surprise.

 

Jaebum coughs into his fist, ears a little pink. “…Yeah. They’re very cute.” He does a little squishing motion with his hands. “Cake has light pink toe beans. I love playing with them, but she doesn’t appreciate that very much.”

 

Bambam blinks at him for a moment before smiling warmly. “You’re much cuter than I expected, hyung.”

 

“Uh?” Jaebum’s face twists. He seems to be at a loss, flustering around for a bit. He eventually settles for shoving his hands into his pocket, frowning slightly. “I’m not cute.”

 

Bambam tilts his head questioningly. “Oh? Then what are you?” He teases.

 

“I -!” Jaebum clamps his mouth shut, ears deepening in color. He mumbles something that Bambam doesn’t quite catch, but it doesn’t matter too much because he’s busy holding in laughter anyway. Jaebum is surprisingly easy to tease, although Bambam has no idea where he’s getting all of this bravery from. He could’ve sworn just ten minutes ago, Jaebum was an untouchable figure. He would really, _really_ like for them to be good friends. Bambam can only hope they’re off to a good start.

 

-

 

(For some reason, the employee behind the cash register - a boy this time - looks exasperated at them by the time they finish wandering around the shop and gushing about what kind of toys their different cats would like. Bambam is only more confused when he hears a complaint about how “people need to take their flirting out of the store.” He wonders if the customers before them were behaving inappropriately.

 

Jaebum pointedly does not look at him when he expresses his confusion.

 

But they do have a great time grabbing a spontaneous dinner together at a noodle shop afterwards. Jaebum even pays for the both of them, even though Bambam didn't forget his wallet this time! What a great hyung.)

 

-

 

“Him _again_?” Yugyeom groans.

 

Bambam just tsks in response, thumbs rapidly tapping on the keyboard of his phone.

 

“I’m so _bored_. Ever since you exchanged numbers with him you don’t play with me anymore!” Yugyeom whines like a child.

 

It’s the final week of promotions and they’re about fifteen minutes away from starting Sweet Talk’s last fansign. Their fans have already filed in and are chattering amongst themselves excitedly. For some, it’s their first time. For the majority, it’s the nth time, but everyone can relate to the pain of an empty wallet and eating instant ramen for the next month. So many of his fansites are fiercely loyal and make it a point to come to each and every one of his schedules. Bambam loves doing fansigns - it’s when he can thank their fans directly for all their support and get to know them as individuals. It’s the least he can do in return for all the love he receives on the daily.

 

Only this time, he’s just a little distracted. Just a _little_.

 

But to be fair, the fansign hasn’t officially started yet, so Bambam should be free to do whatever he wants. Including smiling at Jaebum’s silly face in accompaniment to a text about being tired in the studio.

 

Bambam sends an ugly face back and demands (nicely) to know if Jaebum’s listened to his demo yet.

 

“ _Ew_.”

 

“You _ew_ ,” Bambam sticks his tongue out at Yugyeom.

 

“He’s still your friend after _that_?” Youngjae remarks out of nowhere.

 

Bambam whips his head around to see him disturbingly too close to his face. Bambam squawks attractively and turns his phone around so none of them can continue creeping on his messages. “Stop looking at my stuff!”

 

“So you finally moved on from talking about cats?” Youngjae asks instead.

 

“What’s wrong with talking about cats?” Bambam frowns.

 

“Nothing, but you’re being _weird_ about it,” Yugyeom answers.

 

Bambam feels a bit offended. “What do you mean, _weird_?”

 

Yugyeom and Youngjae share a look and roll their eyes, which has Bambam sitting up straight on the edge of his seat and darting his eyes between the two of them.

 

“ _What_?” Bambam demands. A little bit of panic rises within him though. Does this mean Jaebum thinks he’s weird? He hopes not. He’s only been trying to keep the conversation flowing between them, since they both love their cats a lot and it makes for an easy greeting. All Bambam has to do is drop a photo of Pudding, Latte, Cupcake, or King and then they just roll with it from there. They’ve been learning a lot about each other through this tried and true method - but maybe? This is annoying Jaebum? Oh no. _Oh no_.

 

“You’re literally like: _hhhhhh_ ,” Yugyeom swoons to the side exaggeratedly, sweeping a hand over his forehead and fluttering his lashes. Before Bambam can even express his disgust for that act, Youngjae joins him.

 

“ _Oh my god, Def sunbae-nim._ ” Youngjae clasps both of his hands together like a prayer and makes a kissy face.

 

“I -!”

 

“ _You're my inspiration, sunbae-nim._ ”

 

“ _Please notice me, sunbae-nim._ ”

 

“Stop that!” Bambam fumes, blushing. “I do _not_ sound like that!”

 

The two of them snicker and continue to double-team Bambam, swaying this way and that in high pitched voices.

 

“ _I love your songs, sunbae-nim_!”

 

“ _I stream your songs more than my own, sunbae-nim_!”

 

“ _I -_ wait what?” Yugyeom does a double take and stares at Bambam with genuine shock. “Really?”

 

Bambam stays quiet, which ironically says a lot.

 

Youngjae snorts, “Yeah, just look at his Melon history.”

 

“ _Bammie_!” Yugyeom gasps dramatically. “How could you?”

 

“That’s rich, coming from a Chris Brown fanatic,” Bambam huffs, crossing his arms.

 

“But _I'm_ not the one with a crush.”

 

They can see the exact moment Bambam short-circuits.

 

“Wait. Wait wait wait.” Bambam flails his arms in the air. “You both got this all wrong - I don't have a crush on Jaebum hyung. I _admire_ him. That's different!” Furthermore, he has no idea where they're getting any romantic signals from Bambam's interactions with Jaebum. All they've seen is them texting each other!

 

“Oh, we're at _Jaebum hyung_ now?” Yugyeom wiggles his eyebrows.

 

“Shut it, that's normal.”

 

“I've never seen you try so hard to talk to someone,” Youngjae stares at him meaningfully.

 

Yugyeom nods. “Yeah, to the point of constantly using your cats as an excuse.”

 

“I’m just trying to be friends!” Bambam pouts. “And it's not an excuse - I really do like talking about my babies. I normally try to limit myself when talking about them because I know not everyone cares about cats as much as I do. But Jaebum hyung gets it.” His hands itch to grab his phone, knowing there must be a few unread messages by now. “Plus, he has five super cute cats.”

 

“Five!” Yugyeom exclaims.

 

“ _And_ , he gives me lots of advice on my songs.”

 

Yugyeom and Youngjae quieten. They both know how much effort Bambam has been putting into songwriting lately.

 

“He's a really nice guy,” Bambam smiles softly.

 

They refrain from commenting on that look… for now. Besides, it’s time to go greet the fans anyway.

 

Bambam checks his phone one last time -

 

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/146851312@N03/46355301264/in/dateposted-public/)

\- and his smile widens.

 

-

 

“Bam-ah!” A girl shouts from the back row of seats.

 

Bambam grabs the microphone, raising his eyebrows. “Uh?” He looks left and right until he finally finds her tiny figure jumping up and down. “Oh! Hi!”

 

Camera shutters continue to go off during the exchange - probably increasing in frequency now that Bambam is smiling, looking extra cute in a bunny headband.

 

“…are you close…”

 

He leans forward on the table, squinting, as if that will help his hearing. “Huh?”

 

“Bambam, are you close with…”

 

“With?” Bambam repeats in confusion. “Huh?”

 

“ARE YOU CLOSE WITH DEF!!! DEFSOUUUUL!!!” A different woman bellows from the top of her lungs, clearly agitated by Bambam’s poor hearing. The crowd erupts in laughter, especially when Youngjae jolts in his seat in shock. His head pops out from the side of a fan who is standing in front of the table, getting her album signed. Yugyeom’s high pitched laugh rises above the rest, his hand hovering over his open mouth.

 

“Eyyy,” Bambam pouts, but is also very amused. “It’s hard for me to hear from the back, you know!”

 

Multiple fans apologize in response.

 

“It’s okay!” Bambam giggles. “Hm… Jaebum hyung?” He pretends to think about it while a small portion of the audience squeals. “We’re friends!!” He declares proudly.

 

A chorus of “ooh” and “ahh” fill the room.

 

“Yeah,” Youngjae interjects, lifting up his mic. “They talk _all_ the time!” He reveals enthusiastically, cackling when Bambam stands up and attempts to swat at him over Yugyeom’s big frame.

 

“ _Hyung_!” Bambam’s whine can be heard even without the microphone.

 

“What do you talk about?” Someone asks.

 

Apparently that’s enough to save Youngjae from Bambam’s fury, for he pauses and sits back down in thought. After a few seconds of recalling all their conversations throughout the past month, he just shakes his head and smiles playfully.

 

“…That’s a secret.” He winks.

 

-

 

(Jinyoung rubs his eyes as he steps into the building with heavy steps, quickly getting through the security since Jaebum has long since added him to the system. It’s much more convenient this way, considering how often Jinyoung drops by to make sure Jaebum is actually alive and taking care of his basic human needs. Like food. God knows how many times the reason Jaebum asks for “one bite” is because he’s been locked up in the studio all day working on a song with no food breaks. That, and Jinyoung needs a person to rant to about his incompetent co-actors.

 

The lights to Jaebum's recording room are off, causing Jinyoung to snort. He's probably still in there, but he has a terrible habit of working in the dark because he's too “focused and inspired” to get up and turn on the lights just in case it disrupts his “zone.” The large window where all the sunlight comes in might actually be a curse in disguise. Jinyoung places a hand on the door knob, twisting it open as he yawns.

 

“Jaebum hyung, what did I say about working in the -!”

 

Jaebum scrambles to minimize everything on his computer screen, but it's too late.

 

Jinyoung has seen everything.

 

Jaebum swivels in his chair, facing Jinyoung casually with one elbow resting on the table. “Oh, what's up, Jinyoungie?” He sounds forcefully nonchalant.

 

Jinyoung stares into Jaebum's eyes in the dark, a smirk slowing forming on his face. Jaebum - well. He swallows thickly.

 

“Good evening, hyung,” Jinyoung says gleefully.

 

Fuck.

 

Jaebum groans into his hands as Jinyoung turns on the lights and slides over to his side on a second chair in a split second. He doesn't even bother to stop Jinyoung from swiping the keyboard and mouse towards him like he owns the place. Might as well get it over with if he's already been caught.

 

Jinyoung opens up all the tabs again, eyes growing brighter and brighter with each click. Jaebum is scared.

 

“ _Oh_ ,” Jinyoung gasps, rubbing his hands excitedly. “Is he why your lyrics are so corny these days?”

 

Jaebum wants to die.

 

“ _Bambam_ ,” Jinyoung whistles. “I didn't know you were into the pretty type, hyung.” He looks at Jaebum's red face, light dancing in his eyes. “So.” He gets into Jaebum's personal space. “Have you even talked to him?”

 

“Of course I have!” Jaebum replies indignantly. “Give me some credit, would you?”

 

Jinyoung clicks his tongue. “Well, sorry. I don't know, I thought you liked the tragic pining - maybe it helps with your emo music or whatever.”

 

Jaebum glowers in his seat.

 

“My bad,” Jinyoung sings, as if he didn't just insult Jaebum's very respectable _dark_ genre and dating abilities in one go.

 

Jaebum snatches the mouse from under his hand and continues watching a Bambam fancam without shame. Jinyoung assumes that's his way of rebelling.)

 

-

 

It takes a while before Bambam can jump on Jaebum's offer to help him with arrangements on his songs, having been busy with an endorsement event. But when he gets the chance, he's practically flying over to Jaebum's studio with a permanent smile on his face and a box of cinnamon bites to boot.

 

“Hi!” Bambam chirps right as Jaebum opens the door to let him in. “It's been a…”

 

Jaebum is in a simple white t-shirt tucked into blue denim jeans and a black belt.

 

Bambam accidentally lets his eyes sweep down his body.

 

“…while,” Bambam finishes lamely. He snaps his line of sight back up and finds Jaebum staring at him expectedly, as if he's waiting for Bambam to say something. “Wow. You look really handsome, hyung!” Bambam compliments enthusiastically. He's never been one to be stingy with praise, considering how much he likes to hear it too. “Do you need to go somewhere after?”

 

Jaebum shoves one hand into his front pocket, biting down on his lip. “No, not really. Uhm. Thanks.”

 

Bambam nods. “No problem. Oh - here.” He hands Jaebum the box of treats. “I hear you like sweets?”

 

“I do.” After a short pause, “You look good too, Bam-ah.”

 

It's nothing he's never heard before - but somehow, the way Jaebum is looking directly into his eyes, the way his voice is so gentle and sincere - makes Bambam's heart flutter.

 

Bambam quickly swallows the lump forming in his throat and beams in response, choosing not to think too hard about his weird reaction just now. “Thank you, hyung! I'm glad you think so; I was actually a little worried about going out like this.”

 

“What?” Jaebum frowns slightly. Bambam looks - cute. Unfairly so. It's true that Bambam typically wears more branded, chic clothes out for his schedules but nothing about his current appearance leaves room for insecurity. He's wearing a loose cream sweater with long sleeves that reach his knuckles and straight black trousers that have a bit of a flare at the ends. He looks sweet and cozy - like he would fit right in Jaebum's arms if he were to pull him in by the waist right now.

 

Shit.

 

Jaebum draws his eyes back up. He's been staring.

 

“Well, you shouldn't,” Jaebum clears his throat, “shouldn't be worried, I mean.”

 

Bambam smiles at him shyly, and they leave it at that, heading inside with Jaebum in the lead. After Bambam finishes gushing over all the cool equipment Jaebum has, he digs into his bag for a flash drive containing all his songs - and his glasses. They're a thin and circular pair and honestly kind of dorky but Bambam has been procrastinating on buying a new one for so long he stopped caring about how they look altogether. He doesn't use them much outside of the house anyway, and if in the presence of others, only close friends. Bambam isn't so confident as to call Jaebum _close_ just yet - but it's so comfortable to be around him that Bambam figures some exceptions can apply.

 

Or. Well. So he thinks before seeing the look Jaebum pulls after sliding them onto his face.

 

He curls into himself a little. “Mm, they look weird right? I wear contacts so often not many people know I actually have bad eyesight.” When he begins to make the motions of removing his glasses, Jaebum seems to snap out of whatever it is he was in and -

 

“No!” Jaebum shouts hurriedly, and then winces at his own volume. “You're super cute - uh - I mean, your glasses are super cute - well, I mean, if you _need_ them, you don't have to take them off.”

 

Both of them go red in the face.

 

“I…” Bambam blushes, for yet another unknown reason. Probably because Jaebum being flustered is making him jumpy too. “I was just going to clean them.” He quickly uses the hem of his sweater to wipe the right lens and pops his glasses right back on.

 

“Oh…”

 

“Yeah.”

 

Jaebum gets even redder. It makes Bambam smile in amusement - of course, he feels sorry that Jaebum must be embarrassed right now but it's also an incredibly endearing sight.

 

“Do you want water? I'll go get you some water.” Jaebum abruptly gets up from his seat and leaves the room.

 

Bambam thinks it would be polite not to comment on the noise that ensues in the distance.

 

-

 

As it turns out, they end up only being productive for the first hour before Jaebum starts asking him about how Sweet Talk's albums are usually made. That eventually turns into questions about his life as an idol, and then about his other members. Bambam naturally spills all the funny anecdotes he can remember from the top of his head, glad to see that Jaebum thinks they're interesting, at the very least.

 

They're sharing the box of cinnamon bites when Bambam suddenly remembers - and laughs.

 

“Oh hyung, have you heard of the famous Inkigayo sandwiches?”

 

Jaebum raises an eyebrow. “Yeah. Are they any good? I'm not sure how I feel about all the mayonnaise though.”

 

“Oh, they’re good - but that’s not the point. A lot of us idols stick phone numbers into the plastic wrap as a way to - you know.” Bambam wiggles his eyebrows suggestively. “The other day, an actor who was guest-emceeing for the show snuck one into Yugyeom’s sandwich, but he actually doesn’t like them so he gave it to Youngjae hyung… who _then_ sat all three of us down for a very serious discussion about why we should never date within the group.” Bambam kicks his feet, giggling behind his hand. “Imagine how awful _that_ was! We’re like - _related_ at this point.” He scrunches his nose.

 

Jaebum smiles at the story. After carefully formulating his thoughts, he asks, “What about dating outside of the group?”

 

“Hm.” Bambam cups his chin. “I guess that’s fine. Our company has been quite lenient about what we do with our personal lives, including our relationships, recently due to the positive response from the public for the past year.”

 

“…I see,” Jaebum says with a widening smile.

 

“Yup!” Bambam reaffirms. It’s nice to know that both his company and his fans won’t abandon him just because he’s in love… but he’s so busy, being at the peak of his career right now, that he can’t imagine finding the time to meet girls or whatever. So, in all honesty, he’s not worried about being the headline of a tabloid any time soon.

 

When he reaches over to grab another one of the sugar-coated treats, he notices a small dollop of the cream filling smeared onto the side of Jaebum’s top lip. Bambam quickly looks around for a napkin, but remembers he didn’t grab any from the pastry shop. He doesn’t know the building well enough to get up and go get some either. Without much thinking, he leans in and wipes it away with his thumb.

 

(And makes a mental note of how soft and supple Jaebum’s skin is. Wow.

 

He’s got kind of a cute cupid’s bow too.)

 

“There you go,” Bambam murmurs. He’s not sure why his voice has dropped so low. Bambam catches a glimpse of Jaebum’s wide eyes and open mouth before retreating and picking up the pastry. The cream on his thumb feels a little sticky, so he pops it into his mouth and sucks it off.

 

-

 

“So,” Youngjae begins, rubbing his temples. “You're telling me. You went to his studio - _the_ Offshore studio - for _three_ hours.” He pauses dramatically. “JUST TO FLIRT?”

 

If Bambam wasn't seatbelted right now, he would've just launched himself into oncoming traffic.

 

“I!” Bambam looks desperately at Yugyeom for help. The traitor just shakes his head, clicking his tongue like a disappointed mom. “I wasn't flirting?!”

 

“I thought you were going to make us a hit song, learn something new, bring back a vocal guide??” Youngjae throws his hands around, listing off his expectations. “But if you were going there to flirt - at least? Be a man? And just kiss him??”

 

Yugyeom nods furiously while Bambam screams in an octave he never thought was possible.

 

“I just - I thought he looked attractive? So I said it!”

 

“Uh-huh.”

 

“I wasn't flirting?” Bambam repeats, but the words just die off towards the end. That's not a statement he's too confident about.

 

“Uh-huh.”

 

“He only asked about our dating policies because he's curious?”

 

“Uh-huh,” Yugyeom joins Youngjae in a disinterested tone.

 

“I wiped cream off his mouth 'cause there wasn't a napkin!”

 

“Uh-huh.”

 

“Oh my god,” Bambam groans, ready to face plant when their manager immediately starts yelling at him.

 

“DON'T ruin the makeup.”

 

Well whatever. What do _they_ know, anyway?

 

-

 

Except now Bambam is perplexed. Confused. Losing sleep and probably developing dark circles but HAH, he's a smart boy, he's already got a cooling gel mask underneath his eyes with an expensive serum slathered all over it.

 

As he goes over everything he's done with Jaebum so far, even he can't help but recognize that there might be something more to their relationship than what's on the surface. Still, it might just be Youngjae and Yugyeom planting ideas in his head - it would be _so_ embarrassing if Bambam got ahead of himself and started -

 

Uh.

 

His head hurts. He should just sleep on it and _not_ read too deeply into things. Why would Jaebum be interested in him anyway? He's an idol - surely there are tons of others within Jaebum’s world who would be a better match for someone like him.

 

-

 

End of promotions doesn't necessarily mean Bambam gets a break - they’re always on the move for the next big thing. There's meetings with the marketing team and the CEO for a new concept. Then, after coming to a decision, meetings with product designers for the album art and fangoods. Of course, a majority of the time is dedicated to sifting through hundreds of demos sent by songwriters both within and outside the company - but the beats generally blend altogether by the time the first week ends.

 

So yeah, Bambam isn’t _free_ free, but it probably counts for something now that he can go home by 7PM rather than 2AM. His new daily schedule makes everything much more convenient. He's able to play with his cats more often.

 

He's also able to attend Jaebum's live show at a club in Itaewon.

 

Bambam won't lie - just the _idea_ of going to a club is enough to make him nervous. Contrary to his outgoing personality, he doesn't get many chances to go out on his own like this. He's been focusing on building his career since he was 13, which leaves little to no room for such activities when “time is better spent practicing.”

 

So, as much as he's scared, Bambam is equally excited. It's a bonus that he's _always_ been a fan of Jaebum. He can't believe it took him this long to get the opportunity to hear him live.

 

Bambam shows up at the entrance in a deep purple shirt buttoned up halfway and Chelsea boots with heels higher than he's ever dared to wear elsewhere. Despite the packed club, only a handful of people turn their heads to look at him as he weaves around the club, allowing him to explore the new environment by himself before the show starts. He's pleasantly surprised by the near privacy that he's given - although maybe he should've expected this. This is a different kind of crowd, a different audience. He's not the star people have come for today - Jaebum is.

 

Purple and magenta lights flash through the club in time with the beat, illuminating across the wave of people grooving, laughing, and having a good time. It’s kind of cool actually, how the house music makes everything seem chill and intimate even in the relatively large space. Bambam doesn’t have to try to fit in because he’s not expected to; everyone is just doing their own thing, minding their own business - a huge contrast to the image he had in mind before coming here. It makes sense that Jaebum would frequent this specific club. It’s his style - everything about it. Bambam might even be a little overdressed.

 

As the minutes draw closer to the start of the show, a crowd starts forming near the stage where a DJ is currently holding the center spotlight. Bambam decides to join them too, but ends up near the back. The view isn’t bad. In fact, it somewhat makes him feel sorry for his fans. He doesn’t think even the front row at music shows get a view as close as where he is. Those ahead of him in the crowd can practically touch the DJ’s mixer if they wanted.

 

Briefly, Bambam wonders if he should text Jaebum a good luck message and let him know that he did arrive after all. They had ended their conversation early last night with Bambam neither declining or accepting Jaebum’s invitation since he wasn’t sure how long dinner with his staff tonight would take.

 

Now that he’s here, he’s especially grateful for Youngjae tapping out first, which cascaded into everyone else leaving within just twenty minutes. Company dinners can go well into the night if drinks are brought to the table.

 

Some time between Bambam hovering his thumb over Jaebum’s name and the debate that goes on in his head, the music changes into a familiar song. Immediately, the crowd starts screaming, and Bambam lifts his head up in wonder. Within three seconds of close listening, recognition lights up his eyes.

 

It’s “Higher.”

 

Jaebum’s sweet voice enters the first verse, and the screams raise an octave in volume. The singing is clearly live - but the man behind the voice is nowhere in sight. Like much of the audience, Bambam looks around in confusion, searching for source eagerly. And then, just as everyone is growing tired of looking around, Jaebum enters the small stage from the right, smirking into the microphone as he continues to sing.

 

Bambam sucks in a sharp breath at the sight, feeling jittery and ready to burst with excitement not even half a song in.

 

Jaebum - _Def_ is just _something else_ on stage. His confidence is simply out of this world - attractive, alluring - but never arrogant. His gestures and posture are naturally _cool_ , especially when it’s so apparent that he’s just enjoying the music to the fullest. A black cap covers nearly half his face, only revealing his sharp jawline and the tip of his nose. A black leather jacket hangs over his broad shoulders, and the accessories on his fingers sparkle when he turns to catch the light just so. During an instrumental break, Def grins devilishly and lifts up a beer towards the crowd, eliciting a roar of approval when he brings the drink to his lips. With his neckline exposed, everyone watches as his adam’s apple bobs with each swallow.

 

Bambam bites down on his lip, staring intently with a buzz running down his veins.

 

Def smoothly transitions into what appears to be a fan favorite: “Don’t Touch Me.” It turns out to be an upbeat remix of the original that has the crowd jumping on their feet and bobbing along to his sinfully melodic voice - God, his _voice_. Bambam feels like he’s melting with each note that Def hits perfectly - and when the mic is pointed to the audience, Bambam doesn’t hold back in shouting out the lyrics he knows (embarrassingly) by heart.

 

Def chuckles away from the mic at the enthusiastic response. “How’s everyone doing tonight?” He asks over the backtrack.

 

An assortment of positive responses fill the air.

 

“Good! Cause I _always think about you_ ,” Def playfully slips back into the song, rolling his shoulders to the music and causing a poor fan to shriek at the sudden attack. Bambam is barely able to hold back from doing the same.

 

Def sings a good selection from each of his released albums, beginning with _Vol. 1/?_ to the most recent _Vol. 3/?_. But it’s not until the beginning of “Blind” that something miraculous happens.

 

Jaebum takes off his cap, running his fingers through his hair as he catches his breath for the upcoming verse. When he looks over to the audience from the corner of his eyes, his sharp gaze lands right on Bambam. And Bambam - holds his breath. He stares back with wide eyes and finds that he needs to hold himself tightly just to feel real. Their eye contact lasts much longer than just a few seconds, and it only ends when Jaebum puts his cap back on and to utter the first few lyrics into his mic.

 

The crowd sways around him, but Bambam finds himself frozen, heart pounding rapidly against his chest.

 

Is - is it really possible? Can Jaebum see him from here?

 

And why is this… making him feel so… nervous…?

 

Any questions about whether Jaebum can see him is effectively answered within a few minutes, for Jaebum never quite looks away ever again. Even with his cap obscuring the crowd from seeing his eyes, Bambam can tell where he’s looking just from the way his body is facing.

 

Bambam still enjoys the rest of the show, but just not in the same way. Instead of feeling like he’s one with the crowd, like he’s another fan amongst many others, he feels singled out as if Jaebum is singing just for him. Which is a _crazy_ thought - there’s no way Jaebum is doing that. There’s no way. This is all in his head.

 

Bambam swallows thickly, letting out a shaky breath as the show ends with a simple good night from Def and the DJ.

 

The club kind of disperses then, some going home while some staying back to prolong their night out with friends.

 

Bambam is torn between two similar options. It feels like a good time to go home considering Jaebum might be busy in the back, but a huge part of him wants to go see him - just for a little bit. Bambam should at least tell him how much he loved the show, right? And although Bambam has no idea where to find him, Jaebum saves him the trouble by grabbing his wrist instead.

 

“Hi,” Jaebum smiles softly.

 

Bambam’s stomach twists at the sight of him so close, so suddenly. “Hi!” He replies brightly, hoping it will hide his trembling fingers. Jaebum starts leading him towards the back, away from the rest of the club. He’s already taken his jacket off, leaving only a white t-shirt and a silver palm tree necklace on. “That was an incredible show! I loved it so much.”

 

“Did you?” Jaebum hums. They stop in the middle of a dimly lit hallway, a crossroad between the public space and staff personnel only.

 

“Yeah.” Bambam glances at where Jaebum continues to hold him. “I was already a big fan to begin with so I - well.” He cuts himself short before he can fall into the rabbit hole of fanboying. “You’re an amazing performer, hyung. And - uh.” Bambam looks up, finds Jaebum staring at him, and looks right back down. Jaebum takes a step closer.

 

“You’re - you’re an amazing singer,” Bambam compliments genuinely… but the words are increasingly becoming harder and harder to come out of his mouth now that he’s just so - so nervous! And his face feels hot. And he thinks Jaebum just took yet another step towards him. When did his back hit the wall again?

 

“You think so?” Jaebum asks lowly, the sound from his throat almost like a purr. It makes Bambam's pulse spike to an unhealthy rate.

 

“Of course!”

 

Despite the extra two centimeters Bambam has over Jaebum due to his heels, he feels incredibly small right now.

 

“I'm so glad you came,” Jaebum says, tilting his head slightly.

 

The statement spreads warmth all over his body, encouraging Bambam to finally face Jaebum. He might not be able to do it for a long period of time though. “Really?” Bambam asks with an odd sense of satisfaction for being wanted. For a moment, he's completely mesmerized by just how _handsome_ Jaebum is. It's hard to believe someone like him exists.

 

Jaebum nods, and places an arm on the wall beside Bambam.

 

“I was hoping you would fall for me.”

 

-

 

What?

 

-

 

Jaebum leans in, and kisses him.

 

-

 

 _Oh_.

 

Fuck.

 

-

 

Bambam manages to gently push at Jaebum's chest, breaking the kiss. (It lingers - fresh - on his lips. When he instinctively licks them, he tastes traces of Jaebum on his tongue, setting his core on fire. He doesn’t know what to make of it. He’s scared.)

 

“Can I… have some time to think about this?” His voice shakes.

 

He runs, heels loud on the tiles and later, on the asphalt.

 

Most importantly, he _gets it_ now. He understands what Jaebum has been doing, and what _he_ has been obliviously doing too. It hits him all at once, like the way the chilly night air bites against his skin.

 

-

 

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/146851312@N03/46355301204/in/dateposted-public/)

 

-

 

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/146851312@N03/47078780631/in/dateposted-public/)

(“Not even a like.” Jaebum throws his phone and dives into a pillow.

 

“Hey, I brought the soju like you asked - _whoa_.” Jinyoung quickly puts down the alcohol and sits next to Jaebum on the couch. “You look awful,” he states, not bothering with the teasing lilt in his voice as usual - just straight up concerned.

 

“I _feel_ awful.”

 

“It's not the end of the world, is it?”

 

Jaebum sighs. Is it?)

 

-

 

Bambam shuts himself off from the rest of the world for the next two days, time passing by in a blur. He lies to his manager about being sick and gets away from having Yugyeom bursting through his door by replying to the group chat often enough to avoid suspicion. Youngjae is a bit harder to fool, but he's also sensible enough to know when Bambam needs his space. Bambam is mature enough to know when he needs help now - although ignoring Jaebum's texts and willfully _not_ checking Instagram are probably not very good examples of that.

 

Bambam has never once regretted uprooting from Thailand to become an idol in Korea. He's super successful for someone his age, and he's proud of being able to provide for his family. It's just that sometimes, he becomes painfully aware of the things he had to unknowingly give up in order to achieve his dreams.

 

Like figuring out his sexuality.

 

Normal teenagers who go to school, who get to date and experiment, who have _time_ for all of this probably have a good idea of their orientation. Bambam, on the other hand, spent all that time learning how to rap and how to dance. His everyday priority was to do well in the next monthly evaluation, and then to debut. It's not like he's _blind_ to attractive people. He can objectively acknowledge and admire them. Both men and women can appeal to him.

 

But he's never _liked_ them.

 

And maybe that's the problem.

 

Bambam just automatically assumed that he was like most of his friends, his fellow trainees. Whenever someone said, “Isn't she pretty?” he would nod and agree. Because everyone else nodded too. Just because he was aware of the LGBT+ community didn't mean he ever considered himself more than an ally. The opportunity wasn't there.

 

Now that it is, he desperately needs a crash course on _everything_.

 

Bambam shoves his face into Pudding's side, ready to cry.

 

He needs to take this seriously, because god forbid he hurts Jaebum’s feelings. He can only imagine what it’s like to have someone run away from you like that after what’s practically a confession. What's stupidly frustrating is - he already knows he doesn't want to say “no.” There's no other explanation for his, apparently, blatant flirting and heavy blushing if he doesn't like Jaebum too. But Bambam doesn’t want to rush into reciprocating his affections either. Maybe he’s thinking too far into the future, but if he were to pursue a serious relationship with a man, sex is definitely going to come up, and he wants to make sure that _that_ is something he will be comfortable with. Jaebum deserves a whole lot more than a wishy washy “okay” stemmed from uncertainty and pressure.

 

Pudding starts kneading his cheek.

 

This might be the most stressful thing he's ever had to deal with.

 

-

 

Bambam has a great idea.

 

Yugyeom stares at him weirdly while peeling a hard boiled egg.

 

Bambam has a great idea and as per every great idea he’s ever had, it’s probably not a great idea.

 

“What. Are you doing.”

 

“I'm conducting a social experiment,” Bambam replies seriously, staring at every naked man that crosses their sight. Yugyeom and Bambam are in a spa, sitting and steaming their asses off because Bambam suddenly demanded to go “or else he'll die.” Yugyeom just wanted the free snacks (and also to check up on how Bambam is doing), but now he's starting to wonder if it's worth it.

 

“...On what?”

 

“On myself,” Bambam says grimly, pursing his lips and narrowing his eyes at all the dangling… goods. One pruny person walks by and he throws up a little in his mouth.

 

Yugyeom crosses his legs and decides he'll mind his own business next time.

 

-

 

Bambam quickly signs the paper before kicking the package into his house, barely letting the mailman get his greeting in as he slams the door shut. His cats gather around the mysterious box and he shoos them away, picking it up. They continue to trail after him, but Bambam is determined to be _alone_. As they pour into his room, he picks two up in each arm and runs to the living room to lay them down. He runs back inside and locks himself in, heart rate beginning to speed up.

 

He gulps at the intimidating cardboard box, which looks deceptively innocent on the floor. Bambam slowly crawls towards it and holds his breath as he rips it apart. The sauna didn’t work in helping him decide whether or not he likes men so. So. This. This has to. He’s on a time crunch, so he needs something with _impact_. Kind of like shock therapy. Is that how that works?

 

Anyway.

 

Bambam makes sure all the windows are closed, pulls all the curtains shut, and dims all the lights down. He strips down to nothing and arranges the necessities neatly on his bed. He places the new DVD into a player and gulps as he's hit with a thumbnail of two men in a missionary position.

 

“ _Fuck_ ,” Bambam curses and takes a moment to silently scream into his hands. He's too scared to even lie on his back for the porn, too tense to move from where he's sitting on his own calves. The mattress dips where his knees are, and the new dildo he just bought rolls over to remind him of his mission. Bambam bites down on his lip and wills his hands away from his red face, balling them at his sides instead. He can't back out of this. He needs to at least give it a try.

 

Bambam presses the “play” button before he can talk himself out of it.

 

The first few minutes consists of bad acting and equally bad plot, but the reviews online had already warned him so it wasn’t much of a surprise. The best part should be the - well. Porn. It’s one of the top rated “vanilla” videos, which Bambam figured would be a good start.

 

He stays rigid on the bed, eyes wide as he absorbs in the new information flashing on the TV screen. The two actors are closing in on each other, tension palpable as the movie falls into complete silence. The older, bulkier man - Bambam forgot to pay attention to their names - places his hands on his smaller partner’s hips. When their gazes fall onto each other’s lips, his hands ride up to feel naked skin as they quickly slot together into a heated kiss.

 

Tingles crawl up Bambam’s spine as he listens to the sound of their wet mouths smacking together, every little breath and rustle of cotton accentuated by the quiet background. They gently fall into bed together, still connected, and the new angle makes their tangling tongues easier to see. Soft moans start to fill the room as they grind against each other, clothed from the hip down but shirts quickly riding up to accommodate wandering hands.

 

Heat begins to build down south, which sparks a bit of hope inside Bambam as he reaches between his legs and loosely cups his balls. For now, he wants to savor the slow build up, and see how hard he can get without touching himself where he wants to the most. He reclines into a nest made of multiple pillows and concentrates on the actors, who are now peeling off their pants and casting them aside hastily.

 

Both men are shaved - Bambam looks down at his own crotch and wonders, would Jaebum like him shaved?

 

His length twitches, slowly rising into hardness. His hand unconsciously grips onto the sheets tighter.

 

Bambam breathes in deeply, letting out a shaky exhale as his vision towards the screen glazes over in favor of imagining Jaebum right in front of him, maybe crouching over to touch his dick. Maybe hovering above it with his mouth, licking his lips in approval at the shaven area before tasting it with a long swipe of his tongue from base to tip.

 

Bambam tries to shake his imagination away, feeling his cheeks flare with hotness as his cock enthusiastically responds to the idea of Jaebum sliding his tongue up and down his shaft until it's glistening with wetness. But the fantasies seem to have a mind of its own - soon enough, Jaebum is deepthroating him to the hilt in his mind, breathing heavily through his nose and sucking long and hard with every bob of his head. Bambam’s cock would hit the back of his throat in a steady rhythm, causing Jaebum to choke a little, but even the struggle and the prick of tears forming in his eyes is enjoyable to him. And then, Bambam would card his fingers through Jaebum’s soft, black hair, caressing the scalp sweetly until he suddenly yanks Jaebum’s head off his cock. The action would cause Jaebum’s mouth to release him with a pop, and the string of saliva that connects them would continue to hang in between the small distance from his swollen lips to the pink tip. Jaebum is on his knees - and he is refusing to close his mouth, begging with his eyes for Bambam to shove his entire length back down his throat.

 

When Bambam’s eyes focus on the TV again, he realizes that he’s been subconsciously replacing one of the actors with Jaebum’s image. At this point, as he wraps his hand around his hard erection, Bambam has no idea _why_ he ever thought he would have a problem with sex with a man. Clearly he’s _aching_ to shove imaginary Jaebum down and defile him into a whimpering mess. Bambam wonders if Jaebum’s voice would get raspy from the rough blowjob, and the contrast of that with his usual honey sweet voice makes Bambam drip with precum.

 

Bambam spreads of his legs apart and starts jerking his wrist, sighing quietly at the pleasure.

 

The movie is just background noise now, considering how he’s much more occupied with the thought of Jaebum eagerly sucking his dick. A small part of him is embarrassed of himself right now. Jaebum kissed him _once_ and now he’s touching himself and imagining the older singer in various compromising positions just so he can dirty the bed with his come.

 

“Ah! ... _Ahh_ …”

 

The sudden cry - although followed by a moan - grabs Bambam’s attention. His fist stills around the base of his cock as he lifts his torso up to sit and watch. His heart thuds as he sees one of the actors spread wide open, the other pushing a slick finger into his hole.

 

 _Oh_. Oh right. This was why he was apprehensive to begin with. He’s never done that before.

 

Bambam swallows once and quickly pauses the movie. He opens up the bottle of lube that was nearly forgotten on his bed and squirts what he guesses is a good amount onto his hand. He studies the “bottom’s” body and mimics it, ending up on his back again but with his thighs spread. Bambam reaches down to press his index finger on his entrance and shivers at the cold, wet sensation. It’s not _bad_ but it’s not _good_ either. He changes to his middle finger and it relieves the strain on his wrist for a bit.

 

Okay. Whatever, it’ll probably get better. Bambam resumes the video.

 

One finger quickly turns into two right before his eyes, and Bambam can’t help but marvel at how pliant the man is - especially since he hasn’t even gotten one finger in himself. Bambam holds his breath and decides to push in… soon. For some reason, his wrist won’t move. Bambam bites on his lip and decides to get more lube. He circles around his hole with the extra wetness, but otherwise doesn’t do anything about it. He loses track of time, and belatedly realizes the actor is three fingers in.

 

It’s hot - Bambam won’t deny it. The way he seems to be losing his mind over the penetration, the way his entire body is flushed and sweaty with anticipation for the cock that’s about to enter him -  Bambam wants to feel that too. He wants to feel good like that too, he just doesn’t know _how_. Feeling a little frustrated, Bambam pushes a bit harder at his entrance and slips a fingertip through the ring of muscle. He gasps immediately. He’s _tight_. Unbelievably so. His finger feels like it’s better off pulling out of him than going in any further. Bambam knows that his finger can go way deeper than this - hell, he just watched it with his own eyes. But something about the intrusion is a little daunting.

 

Moans fill his room, and Bambam gets distracted by the sight of the two men rocking into each other on their bed. The hand down in his ass stills, but his cock twitches and strains the longer he looks at the wet slap of them fucking on his screen.

 

Suddenly, Bambam thinks of Jaebum. Be it Jaebum being the one to slam into him, or _him_ burying his cock inside Jaebum, both fantasies, send him flying to yank on his leaking cock, desperate for completion.

 

Fuck it.

 

Bambam removes the finger inside him and just focuses on driving his hips into his fist. His load spills embarrassingly fast, a hard orgasm that quakes his body and draws a long groan out of him.

 

He’ll try again another day.

 

-

 

In the end, Bambam’s sexual experiments don’t quite answer all his questions. But they do answer the ones that matter.

 

Like the fact that he wouldn’t mind dating Jaebum - scratch that - that he would _love_ to date Jaebum, because the most important thing is that Bambam likes him back. (Not as friends, Bambam smiles amusedly to himself. He kind of hates that Yugyeom and Youngjae figured it out way before he did without even seeing the both of them together.) And if Jaebum is the kind of man that Bambam believes he is, maybe Jaebum will be patient enough to teach him how to be in a relationship.

 

That is - if there _is_ going to be a relationship between them.

 

Bambam grabs his keys and heads out the door.

 

-

 

Alright, when Jaebum asked him if he wanted to play around in the recording room and maybe pen a collab together, Changmo didn’t expect him to write _these_ lyrics.

 

Changmo glances up at Jaebum above the paper and pretends to reread it again, humming with a hand over his chin. All he can think of is, _Yikes. Who hurt you?_ But all things considered, they’re very good, very heart-wrenching lyrics. Changmo just feels sorry that Jaebum is going through whatever it is he’s going through. He’s a lot softer than most people think, and he’s also the type to overthink and brood over minor details. Jaebum hasn’t dated in a long time, too. He must’ve really liked this person.

 

(Although, Changmo does recall one of Jaebum’s best friends calling him a drama queen… something about Jaebum tending to pour salt on his own wounds so it can bleed into his art.)

 

“What do you think?” Jaebum asks casually, as if he didn’t just hand over the equivalent of his crushed heart.

 

“I like it,” Changmo nods. “Depressing, but I like it.”

 

“Thanks.” Jaebum smiles a little. “I thought it would go well with this beat you sent.” He clicks on the aforementioned beat. They both groove to the music; Jaebum adds on some adlibs and throws out random melodies that might work for a song. Towards the end, as Changmo is absent-mindedly looking at Jaebum’s wall of photos, something new catches his eye.

 

“Did you get a sixth cat?” Changmo rolls his chair over. It’s a little white munchkin, mid-climb up a sofa with the sunset as a backdrop.

 

Jaebum follows his line of sight and his expression falls. “No,” he says, and gets up to pluck it off the clothespin. “She’s just cute.”

 

Changmo watches him sigh forlornly and hesitate before putting it in the trash. Now, Changmo doesn’t mean to be hasty in his assumptions but - is Jaebum sad over a cat? Jaebum might be sad over a cat. One time a starving stray scratched his hand _bad_ but he still got teary eyed because he felt sorry for not being able to adopt it.

 

Jaebum’s phone vibrates with a new text. Jaebum reaches for it, and promptly freezes upon seeing the notification. Changmo raises an eyebrow curiously, but otherwise keeps quiet and finds something to work on.

 

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/146851312@N03/46355301074/in/dateposted-public/)

“I…” Jaebum gulps. “I’ll be right back.”

 

Changmo nods, and out the door he goes.

 

-

 

Bambam is freezing, sniffing loudly as he waits outside of the Offshore studio in only a thin long-sleeve and Adidas track pants. He knows he was hasty in coming here, especially since he didn’t check to make sure Jaebum was inside in the first place. But Bambam felt like he couldn’t wait any longer, like he had to act fast before Jaebum changed his mind and decided to cut him off forever… kind of like how Bambam did when he ran away. Fuck. This isn't looking too good.

 

He sniffs again and cracks the crinks in his neck, as per habit.

 

In another minute, he hears footsteps running down the stairs and his heart starts picking up, both in hope and trepidation. The door slides open and Bambam's mouth goes completely dry as he stares right into Jaebum's wide eyes.

 

Jaebum looks like he hasn't slept in a while, and stubble lines his upper lip. A bucket hat sits on top of his head, and he's in the baggiest clothes Bambam has ever seen anyone wear.

 

God damn it. Bambam knows for sure he's got it _bad_ if someone dressed like everything wrong in fashion still looks cute to him.

 

“Hi, hyung,” Bambam croaks, his voice shaking from the cold and his nerves. He clears his throat and forces himself to continue before he chickens out. “I'm sorry for ignoring you this past week, and for running away.”

 

Jaebum visibly deflates, and the sight makes Bambam's chest hurt. “It's… okay. I'm sorry for what I did.”

 

Bambam shakes his head. “No, don't be! It just - shocked me. It wasn't bad. I just didn't know how to respond and I got scared. I've never been with a guy before.”

 

Jaebum smiles sadly, and Bambam panics to get the final point across.

 

“But!” He blurts. “But Jaebum hyung, I really like you.”

 

Jaebum's breath hitches.

 

“See, I didn't know that I liked you more than a friend. I didn't know that I acted different with you compared to everyone else. I'm dumb, I know,” Bambam smiles nervously. “I gave it a lot of thought because you deserve a proper answer. So. Hyung… I did fall for you. Will you - !”

 

“ - YES!” Jaebum shouts.

 

Bambam blinks at the sudden interruption and then throws his head back in laughter. “Hyung, I didn't finish!”

 

“Okay, finish,” Jaebum urges him excitedly, pursing his lips.

 

Bambam fights against the giggle threatening to escape and stares at Jaebum fondly. Wow. He steps forward, unable to feel the cold anymore with how warm he's feeling inside. Bambam grabs both of Jaebum's soft hands and squeezes them gently. If Jaebum blushes because of it, Bambam decides to be quiet, keeping the dear image to himself.

 

“Will you go out with me?”

 

“Yes,” Jaebum agrees, barely able to contain himself.

 

Bambam lets out a big sigh of relief and grins. This time, Bambam is the one to lean in and press their lips together. Jaebum's stubble is prickly, but he's never felt happier.

 

-

 

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/146851312@N03/47078780481/in/dateposted-public/)

-

 

Their first date was perfect despite it not happening at the most conventional times. Bambam is still an idol after all, so they both decided it would be best to keep it low for now, until they’ve been together long enough to be comfortable about being sighted in daylight. They didn’t actually do much - Jaebum just asked him to go on a midnight walk, but surprised him by showing up with a bike. Bambam will always remember how nice the wind felt on his face as Jaebum cycled through the path by the river, how he could feel Jaebum’s loud heartbeat beneath his hands as he held on from the back. It was really, _really_ cute, the way Jaebum pretended to be cool and collected the entire night but nearly slipped and led them down a hill with alarming speed once Bambam’s cheek rested on his shoulder.

 

They both screamed, but ended up okay.

 

On the third date, Bambam mustered up the courage to kiss Jaebum longer than just a peck. Bambam’s knees might have buckled when Jaebum licked at the seam of his mouth, but Jaebum isn’t one to kiss and tell.

 

(He sings about it.

 

Much to Jinyoung’s dismay.

 

“Can we go back to your emo music? I’m single, and this sappy lovey dovey pop music you’re producing isn’t helping.”)

 

It’s the fourth date by the time both of their fans catch them in public for the first time. Jaebum’s Instagram gets flooded with comments about Bambam, ranging from people demanding to know more to others demanding that said people shut up because it isn’t their business. Since neither of them are very touchy when outside, they can still pass off as friends hanging out. Bambam finds it amusing, so he screenshots a few of the funniest comments for Jaebum to see. They share a few chuckles over it, and then watch a movie together.

 

-

 

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/146851312@N03/46355300924/in/dateposted-public/)

“What are you looking at?”

 

Bambam yelps, and instinctively clutches his phone to his chest, hiding his screen. His torso slides to the side, away from where Jaebum had just suddenly sat down. Jaebum laughs at him, and Bambam huffs, pouty and embarrassed about his reaction. He sits back up and shows Jaebum the post from one of his fans, only feeling satisfied when he sees the flip in their expressions.

 

“ _Sheesh_ ,” Bambam smirks, nudging him with his elbow. “What a way to be subtle, hyung.”

 

Jaebum refuses to meet his eyes afterwards, which only encourages Bambam to tease him until his ears are on fire. Bambam collapses onto his side, leaning his head on Jaebum's shoulder. It's a place he finds himself resting on a lot these days.

 

Bambam continues to shake with suppressed giggles, and Jaebum is drawn in to the way his nose scrunches up cutely. He stares - and stares, and _stares_ until Bambam recovers enough to feel his gaze on him. He looks up at Jaebum, and the giggles quickly dissipates.

 

It's one thing to see the way Jaebum looks at him from an outsider's point of view, but it's entirely another thing to feel the heat of his attention directly. Jaebum can be intense sometimes, and Bambam's not even sure if he's aware of it.

 

Bambam is able to look back for a little while - but his resolve quickly crumbles into dust the moment he sees Jaebum’s eyes flicker to his lips for a split second. “...What?” Bambam shyly tucks a stray hair behind his ear. “Stop that.”

 

Only, the more he leans back, the more Jaebum leans forward, trapping him down on the couch.

 

Jaebum smiles. “Sorry,” he murmurs. “It's cause you're so pretty,” he sighs almost dreamily. He sounds deceptively sweet for someone who's slowly but surely caging him in. Suddenly, Jaebum's got a hand on his waist, and the touch has him flinching - _upwards_.

 

Shocked, Bambam can't do anything but stiffen completely as his stomach flips back and forth. He swallows, and it's so dry that his tongue naturally darts out to wet his parched lips. Their faces are barely inches apart, short puffs of air mingling between them raggedly. Bambam's arms are straining to keep him in position, but the screams in his head as Jaebum's hand hooks under his shirt are much, much louder than the screams from his muscles.

 

Jaebum tilts his head, getting even closer until the tips of their noses briefly brush against each other. His mouth parts slightly, and he watches as Bambam's eyes flutter shut in anticipation.  

 

They fall into place, magically, easily. The first contact of soft lips has them shivering with unadulterated want, barely held together by the seams of self-control that is steadily unraveling by the second. Jaebum sighs into the kiss, the needy sound barely a whisper that dissipates in an instant. But - the way his mouth parts in invitation - the sound makes Bambam want to chase after it and to hear it again, maybe a little louder.

 

He loops one arm around Jaebum and places his hand on Jaebum’s nape, feeling the short hairs with the tips of his fingers hesitantly before strengthening his grip. Bambam turns his head - just enough - to skillfully slip his tongue in and taste the molten wetness of Jaebum’s mouth. At the very least, he’s not insecure about his kissing.

 

Jaebum practically melts into him then, breath hitching and jaw going slack as Bambam licks into him and sucks on his upper lip. He can’t escape the pleasure either, not with Bambam’s large hand holding him in place and massaging at his scalp. With a little moan, he decides to give up on remaining partially upright and lets his weight fall on Bambam. Unsurprisingly, Bambam’s arm gives out too, and they briefly disconnect for Bambam to safely land on his back.

 

Jaebum wastes no time in tangling their legs together and diving deep into Bambam’s sweet mouth, heat curling low in his belly when their tongues keep sliding against each other. He can hardly believe how _good_ Bambam is at kissing - nor can he believe how his pink, plush lips are even _softer_ than he’s imagined.

 

God, Bambam is such a _dream_.

 

He’s so cute, so pretty - like a flower. But that’s exactly what makes him so dangerous. Because before Jaebum knows it, he’s already fallen into his trap, immobilized by the fist pulling on his hair and panting heavily as dark eyes lock onto his before lips trail down the side of his neck.

 

Jaebum grinds down on his leg, groaning, and barely registers how Bambam freezes beneath him. A second later, the doorbell rings. The shrillness of it startles both of them and it takes another second for Jaebum to remember that they ordered delivery over half an hour ago for dinner.

 

“…I’ll go get that,” Jaebum says as he lifts himself up.

 

“…Yeah, okay.” Bambam catches his breath and sits up, swinging his legs over so that his feet touch the ground while he watches Jaebum pay for the food in cash. He places a hand over his heart, which is still spiking up and down erratically after… after he felt Jaebum’s half-hard length pressing against him. The feeling of it scared him, honestly, because he hasn't been able to get over his uneasiness with anything larger than his two fingers inside him. It's a work in progress. And considering how quickly they got swept away by lust, there's no telling how far they would have gone if it weren't for the food delivery. Jaebum is going to expect him to bottom. Bambam can’t imagine it any other way.

 

Bambam taps his foot anxiously and does his best to smile when Jaebum returns with their fried chicken and beer in hand.

 

“Do you want to eat now, or…?” Jaebum trails off, but Bambam knows exactly what he’s talking about.

 

“I’m hungry,” Bambam says quickly, and instantly feels bad for sounding so _relieved_ to find an out.

 

Luckily, Jaebum seems to have no clue about his internal turmoil and just grins, eye-smile and everything, and nods.

 

They devour the whole chicken while talking and getting to know each other even deeper. The night passes by quickly like that, and combined with the few hours Jaebum spends introducing Bambam to all his cats, it's soon nearing midnight.

 

Yawning, Bambam removes the house slippers Jaebum let him borrow and fetches his socks. After pulling one pair onto his foot, Jaebum interrupts him.

 

“You can stay the night,” Jaebum blurts out in one breath. “If you want to, that is.”

 

Bambam looks up at him owlishly, and softens upon seeing how Jaebum must've mustered up a lot of courage just to say that. He's gnawing on the inside of his cheek, eyes drifting to the side nervously. How could Bambam say no?

 

“I'd love to stay.”

 

Jaebum looks like his whole night has been made just from that one sentence. “Great,” he says breathlessly. He clears his throat, and repeats more assuredly, “Great! Are you okay with sharing the bed…? If not, I can take the couch since you're the guest and - !”

 

“I'm okay with that.”

 

Jaebum - gets kind of red. As if he wasn't expecting Bambam to accept. “Oh - yeah - okay. Cool.”

 

“Cool,” Bambam laughs.

 

Well, maybe it's counterintuitive to share the bed with someone he just had cold feet for, in terms of sex, but it seems like such a pure offer, especially when Jaebum carefully positions a body pillow to look like it can be a divider if Bambam so chooses.

 

Bambam, in a fresh set of borrowed clothes, lies down and pushes the pillow elsewhere.

 

“Good night, Jaebum hyung.”

 

“…Good night.”

 

And he bites down a smile, eyes closed. He can feel Jaebum's eyes on his face, probably looking as _gross_ as he did in that picture.

 

-

 

Although it's his day off, Bambam still manages to wake up early in the morning like clockwork, apparently too used to poor sleeping habits to even sleep in for once. When he turns to his side, he's surprised to find Jaebum already awake, playing on his phone and blanket tucked all the way up to his chin. He looks so pure like this, small eyes completely absorbed into the screen and a small little pout resting on his face. The sight automatically warms something deep in Bambam's chest.

 

He smiles and sneaks a peek at what Jaebum is doing on his phone.

 

“ _Pft_!” Bambam can't help but laugh when he sees what it is.

 

Jaebum finally notices that his boyfriend (…ugh, wow, just thinking about being able to call Bambam _his_ makes Jaebum want to explode in flowers) is awake. He lowers his phone, but not by much. “What?”

 

“Hyung…you have five cats and you still play Neko Atsume?’

 

Jaebum huffs, indignant. “There's no correlation.”

 

A second later, “Bambam look, I got Hermeowne to visit me!” Bambam is shown a little black cat in a witch costume from the mobile game.

 

“ _Oh_ … cute,” Bambam gushes at Jaebum, suddenly itching with the urge to pinch his cheeks.

 

“Right?” Jaebum agrees, obliviously to the wrong thing.

 

Bambam just giggles to himself, staring at Jaebum with adoration until it occurs to him that he should record this. It would be something nice to look back at in the future. He reaches for his phone and sits up, pointing the camera at him and pressing record.

 

“Jaebum hyung,” Bambam calls.

 

“Mm?” Jaebum looks up, but only after putting more food into the digital cat bowls - “Hey!” He breaks into a grin, realizing he's being recorded.

 

“Good morning!” Bambam chirps. It's all he manages to get out before Jaebum tackles him down, starting a light-hearted wrestle that escalates into a pillow fight within minutes.

 

Later, without much thinking, Bambam decides to post the cute little clip.

 

Jaebum likes it within seconds. Bambam looks up at Jaebum, across from him on the dining table, in surprise.

 

“How…wait, do you have notifications on for me?”

 

Jaebum just shoves a lump of rice into his mouth, refusing to answer. Then, when Bambam keeps pestering him, he realizes a more effective way is to shove rice into Bambam’s mouth instead. He does exactly that.

 

-

 

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/146851312@N03/47078780321/in/dateposted-public/)

-

 

Okay, maybe posting that wasn’t the brightest idea Bambam’s ever had. People are putting two and two together, and now their relationship is essentially out.

 

His Instagram posts usually get a lot of response, but he’s never had something pop _off_ so darn quick. Yugyeom and Youngjae are both screaming at him through FaceTime, and he's clenching his ass inside the taxi because a call from management is coming through _right now_ and calls from the company _never_ go straight to him - it’s always through their manager first, who relays everything to them if needed.

 

To think he had such a nice and peaceful breakfast not ten minutes ago is just funny.

 

After being notified that he’s being summoned to headquarters as soon as possible, Bambam hangs up and swipes back to Yugyeom and Youngjae, who were put on hold.

 

“ - HOW COME WE HAD TO FIND OUT ONLINE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE - !”

 

“WHEN DID YOU REALIZE WE WERE RIGHT? I WANT TO HEAR ALL ABOUT IT - !”

 

Bambam does a little sniff, overwhelmed by everything blowing up in his face. The line goes dead silent for a fraction of a beat before he hears panicked chattering from his phone again.

 

“Oh _no_ , Bambam we’re not mad, don’t be sad!” Yugyeom’s nose takes up 90% of the screen.

 

“Don’t worry about it too much! Everything’s going to be just fine. We’ll riot against the company if you get in trouble!” Some shuffling occurs, and now only Youngjae’s eye fills up the screen. “Yah, what the hell, why is it so close?” He frowns at Yugyeom and zooms out.

 

“We love you!” Yugyeom quips. “Our fans love you! We’re all going to support you no matter what!”

 

“That’s right. We’re brothers.”

 

“...Thank you,” Bambam smiles, eyes wet. He really, really loves Yugyeom and Youngjae.

 

He takes a deep breath when the taxi pulls up into the company parking lot.

 

-

 

“So,” Park Jinyoung, their executive producer, begins seriously. He and Bambam are alone in a conference room, sitting directly in front of each other at a round table with a hot cup of “organic” coffee. Everything here is “organic.” Bambam doesn’t even know what that means, only that it’s more expensive than the non-organic stuff but tastes the same (but usually worse).

 

Bambam smiles innocently, like he always does when he gets the feeling that he’s in trouble.

 

“I hear you are in a relationship.”

 

“Uhm. Yes.” If he already knows, then he already knows. There’s no point in Bambam trying to deny it.

 

JYP hums, and takes a sip of his coffee. Bambam does the same despite not being a fan straight up black coffee. JYP leans on the table. “Your group’s comeback is set in two months’ time.”

 

“Yes.” Bambam starts fidgeting. Is he not allowed to date? Is it all just a pretense for a good company image? Is this the _end_ of their group, right in their prime? Bambam wants to throw up.

 

“It’s okay; as long as the public doesn’t know yet, we can use it to our advantage.”

 

“Huh?”

 

JYP claps his hands excitedly. “Sweet Talk’s comeback, combined with headline news of you and Def as a new couple - it’s going to be _explosive_.”

 

“Oh,” Bambam laughs nervously. He must have not seen the way literally _all_ of his fans already know. Especially after that post an hour ago.

 

An intern knocks on the door. “Sir? There’s a call from Dispatch.”

 

Bambam sweats under his turtleneck as JYP’s face drops. Is it too late to run?

 

-

 

Articles upon articles keep flooding all the online news sites and both Jaebum’s and Bambam’s names are competing for the number one most searched hashtag every hour. The only thing keeping Bambam sane is the fact that there’s a gate barring all the reporters from entering his residential neighborhood. But even if Bambam knows better than to be online and monitor the public’s reactions, he still does it anyway. The curiosity and anxiety drives him crazy.

 

His company had already decided to come clean about it since more and more evidence keeps surfacing as time passes by. It leaves a bad taste in his mouth though, knowing that all of their precious dates together were being spied on. The only good thing about this is that Bambam had apparently outed himself before anyone else could, so he can always release a statement about never meaning to hide a relationship from his fans in the first place.

 

He just feels sorry for putting Jaebum through so much trouble. It’s because he’s an idol that the news is gaining so much traction. If Jaebum were dating anybody else, nobody would bat an eyelash.

 

Bambam wonders if this will be too much, which leads to him freaking about them not making it through this storm. They haven’t dated long enough to be _solid_ about where they’re at with each other and now look. Everything’s going to shit and it’s all Bambam’s fault.

 

He mopes around for a while longer before lifting himself up from the couch, murmuring small apologies to King and Cupcake for uprooting them from their spots on his chest.

 

This is probably the worst time to be practicing _that_ … but Bambam could really use the distraction right now.

 

-

 

Or, well, until Jaebum suddenly texts him that he’s outside, this late at night.

 

“Shit,” Bambam pants, panicking. He wipes his fingers on his sheets and hurriedly shoves all the lube and toys into his bedside drawer. In his haste, it doesn’t close all the way, but it’s good enough as it is. He reaches for his silk pajama bottoms and jumps into them - only to let out a strangled noise in horror when he sees his boner tenting up loud and proud.

 

“ _God_ ,” he hisses and runs to his closet. He immediately digs for the thickest pair of sweatpants while thinking of something gross to kill his boner, like how Yugyeom puts mayonnaise on pizza.

 

-

 

“Hey!”

 

Bambam seems flushed, out of breath like he just ran a mile, and Jaebum is mesmerized despite the mild confusion.

 

“I hope you don’t mind the mess; I didn’t have time to clean up before you came,” Bambam sheepishly admits.

 

Ah. That might be why.

 

Little “meow’s” in various pitches start echoing in the house at Jaebum’s intrusion, to which Bambam tuts at them and tries to tell them to be good. Latte starts running towards the door, and Bambam barely manages to scoop him up before he escapes. “Could you come in, hyung?”

 

“Oh - right.” Jaebum snaps out of it and toes off his shoes while Bambam closes the door behind him. “Sorry for coming so abruptly. I needed to get away from my usual hideout, now that it’s not so much of a hideout anymore.”

 

Bambam smiles apologetically in response.

 

His apartment is incredibly spacious and beautifully decorated. The entire wall of one side is made of glass, and if it were daytime, the sunlight penetrating through would be enough to light up the entire house. There’s not a single mess in sight, so Jaebum figures he’s just being modest. “This is a beautiful home,” Jaebum compliments.

 

“Thank you,” Bambam beams proudly. “I bought it myself.” With nothing else to follow up on, Bambam distractedly raises a hand up to his neck, drawing Jaebum’s attention to the light sheen of sweat.

 

“Are you sick?” Jaebum asks worriedly. Before Bambam can step away and shake his head in nervous laughter, Jaebum’s already got a gentle hand cupping his cheek and jawline. He leans into the touch instinctively, and both of them promptly freeze, feeling some sort of tension strike down in the air between them at the first contact of skin. Jaebum’s worries melt away, and his face morphs into a cross between perplexity and captivation.

 

 _Well, fuck,_ Bambam thinks as he hollows his cheeks to bite on the inside. Thinking about nasty food has fallen into complete ineffectiveness now that he’s literally facing the man behind all his recent fantasies. In fact - it’s backfiring. Mayonnaise is starting to look a lot like a load of c-

 

Bambam clenches his teeth. Hard.

 

It doesn’t really help that he was half-hard to begin with, because _of course_ Jaebum would happen to come at the worst possible time. He can tell that Jaebum already knows something’s going on - why else would his eyes slowly sweep down Bambam’s body, gaze landing on what might be, certainly, his hips.

 

Bambam is too scared to look, but he swears to _god_ if his dick is poking through even with these baggy, ugly pants from when he was seventeen and unfashionable, he might as well stop wasting air with his existence.

 

“Did I… interrupt you?” Jaebum asks lowly under his breath.

 

Bambam closes his eyes in agony, mortification and embarrassment causing a new wave of color to rise to his cheeks. Can he die now? Yugyeom will take care of his cats, right? There’s enough money in his account to take care of his family for the rest of their lives, right? Right. Don’t mind him, he’s just going to casually yeet himself out the window -

 

Jaebum’s hand slides down to his neck, and it only takes one step for him to close the distance between them. He leans in, and his lips graze along Bambam’s jawline, ending with an open-mouthed kiss at the mole that decorates the lower left side of his face. A shiver runs down Bambam’s spine when Jaebum asks in his ear,

 

“Can hyung help?”

 

Heat rushes down his cock, and just like that, he’s ready to _go_.

 

Instead of responding with something equally as sexy, Bambam just squawks into his hands. Like a loser. “I’m such an _embarrassment_ ,” he wails.

 

Jaebum blinks at him surprisedly for a moment before biting down a laugh. “No, you’re cute.”

 

“Can you stop being so cool for like, one second?”

 

Jaebum raises one eyebrow questioningly. Bambam clenches his fist because _fuck_ , now he looks even hotter.

 

Know what? Sure. Jaebum can rip through his asshole for all Bambam cares - he’s horny enough to take on anything at this point.

 

“ _Hyung_ …” Bambam grits through his teeth. “ _God, the things I’d do for you_.”

 

Jaebum doesn’t even get the chance to act or feel surprised with the speed that Bambam yanks on his collar and crashes their lips together, teeth raking on flesh and kissing hard enough to bruise. Since Bambam has the advantage of familiar terrain, he easily backs Jaebum into a wall and takes advantage of the gasp that comes when Jaebum is pushed into something solid. His tongue drills inside the wet heat, a carnal hunger surfacing from deep inside him that he didn’t even know existed. Or rather, Bambam didn’t know to what extent the hunger would drive him to. It’s hard to get enough of Jaebum anyway, not when he’s unexpectedly so sweet and pliant, sugary and warm like he’s all Bambam’s to take. Bambam runs his hands up and down Jaebum’s sides, licking up at the roof of his mouth until Jaebum starts panting and drooling at being thoroughly ravaged.

 

Once the edge has worn off, Jaebum starts responding just as eagerly too - gets a little brave and grabs at Bambam’s thigh, just beneath the curve of his ass and playing with the different levels of pressure he can place with his fingers. It makes Bambam keen with want, makes him pull their bodies flush together so he can give his cock some much needed attention by slotting himself between Jaebum’s legs and start grinding in circles. Jaebum sucks in a sharp breath and falls forward. It should be awkward, considering how Jaebum is bigger and broader than Bambam, but Bambam is holding up just fine. With some effort, he can support Jaebum in his arms and even let him place wet, sloppy kisses along his neck.

 

A part of him marvels at how naturally this is all unfolding, how he can pull all these sounds out of Jaebum without knowing exactly what he’s doing yet… _knowing_ , at the same time.

 

Like when Jaebum looks at him with blown pupils, tongue peeping at the corner of his slightly parted lips, he’s telling Bambam to come hither. When he groans and leans forward, he’s telling Bambam to grab his nape and pull his head back, to bite on the column of his neck and leave marks for everyone to see. When his hands wander and wander until they find their destination at his hip bones, he’s telling Bambam to do the same and maybe more.

 

Bambam bites his bottom lip, chest heaving as he relishes in the pleasure that makes his toes curl every time a grind presses his hard cock _just right_. And unlike the first time it happened, feeling Jaebum’s growing length bulging against him doesn’t make him want to run - it makes him curious. Bambam cups him through his pants, eliciting a strained moan from Jaebum. He feels it twitching under his palm - and. And he wants to see it, touch it, watch it get wet as he pumps his hand up and down -

 

“ - Bambam,” Jaebum rasps. It’s probably not the first time Jaebum tried to get his attention.

 

Bambam can feel his mind reeling ten steps back on the filthy thoughts. “Yes hyung?”

 

“Let’s… take it to bed?” Jaebum looks directly into his eyes, intent loud and clear.

 

Bambam swallows thickly upon seeing the pitch black pupils and how they flicker down to linger hotly on his kissed-red lips. “Yeah,” he agrees in a whisper. Jaebum kisses him once more, so gently, it makes his knees weak. “Let’s.”

 

Jaebum brings their foreheads together and smiles against him. Bambam nearly goes cross-eyed just to see the glow on Jaebum’s face. His heart clenches painfully then - because nothing could have prepared him for that adoring, tender look that pierces right through him like an arrow. He holds his breath, as if it would stop time. Bambam wants to be able to see this forever.

 

“Lead the way?”

 

Bambam nods, enraptured.

 

Oddly enough, it’s still Jaebum who leads the way, it’s Jaebum who grabs his hand and leads him down his own hallway with ease and guesses his bedroom correctly. Granted, Bambam left his door wide open, but the action still strikes a chord in him somehow.

 

“I like you so much,” he hears himself saying.

 

Jaebum stops mid-step and turns to him with shining eyes.

 

“I hope you think I’m worth the trouble,” he wishes sadly.

 

“What?” Jaebum moves to hold onto his waist. “Of course you are - you’re worth so much more.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Really,” Jaebum says firmly. “Is it about the media? Because if you think I’m going to let you go over some nosy fuckers, you’re underestimating my feelings for you.”

 

“…Really?” Bambam repeats in wonder this time.

 

“Really,” Jaebum chuckles. “Weren’t you just complaining about my lack of subtlety the other day? Of course I like you… apparently at lot more than you realize.”

 

“ _Oh_. Cool,” Bambam says dumbly.

 

Jaebum cracks up as he drops down on the bed, the mattress bouncing him up once or twice.

 

Bambam laughs too - “Shut up, I didn’t know what else to say.”

 

“Yah, should you be telling your elders to shut up?”

 

Bambam rolls his eyes and pushes Jaebum’s shoulder so he can climb on top of him. “I’ve got other methods if that doesn’t work.”

 

He gets a glimpse of Jaebum’s smirk before wrapping both hands on either side of his face, thumbs resting on the edge of his jawline and ear, and goes right back into sucking on his bottom lip. Jaebum hums contently, and the vibrations from his throat feels pleasant beneath his palms. Jaebum loops his arms around Bambam’s torso, tracing his shoulder blades with his hands before settling on the small of his back. He thrusts upwards, seeking friction, and Bambam gasps at how good it feels, having momentarily forgotten about how hard he was. Is.

 

As much as grinding against Jaebum for hours sounds amazing, Bambam is way too impatient to be able to go through that. Plus, he has his doubts about lasting that long anyway.

 

Bambam breaks off their kiss hastily, resulting in a string of shared saliva that pools and glistens on Jaebum’s lips. He takes off his shirt in one smooth swoop over his head, completely forgetting to be shy and insecure about his thin body in the heat of the moment.

 

Well, by the way Jaebum’s mouth falls open, eyes thirstily tracing his upper body, at least Jaebum likes it. That’s what matters, right?

 

He pushes his white hair back, annoyed by the few strands falling over his eyes as he hovers over Jaebum.

 

When he looks back, Jaebum is blushing heavily.

 

Huh. Interesting.

 

“Hyung, take it off,” Bambam demands impatiently, one hand already raking under his shirt and pushing the material upwards. He feasts upon the revealed skin, notices how Jaebum’s stomach sucks in and trembles under his touch. There’s also a trail of hair starting from his naval and leading down to his groin that distracts Bambam for a moment, thumb rubbing up and down on the trail and then just a tiny bit under, barely registering Jaebum’s breathing picking up.

 

Deciding that’s enough, Bambam sits up with Jaebum in between his knees, giving him ample space to take off his shirt.

 

“Wow,” Bambam breathes. That’s so unfair. Why is Jaebum so _hot_?

 

Jaebum’s skin, light and smooth, looks _so good_ when Bambam puts his tanner, larger hand on him. His broad shoulders taper down to quite narrow hips, but more importantly -

 

Bambam circles his thumb around Jaebum’s nipple.

 

“They’re large,” Bambam marvels as a matter-of-fact, but Jaebum gets shy and covers his face anyway.

 

“Mm, yeah,” he mutters.

 

Bambam presses his thumb on the hardening nub slightly - and snaps his head up when Jaebum makes a squeaky sound. “…And sensitive,” Bambam’s eyes widens. A pretty pink flush rises up Jaebum’s neck, and the sight makes Bambam want to play around just a little longer before he will eventually roll over on his back.

 

He’s just - _fascinated_. Jaebum is getting all worked up as he pinches and flicks at both of his nipples, teeth raking on his bottom lip just to keep the sounds at bay. Bambam can feel Jaebum straining in his pants, solid and throbbing unlike before. He wonders what Jaebum would do if he were to put his mouth on it.

 

“ - _Bam_!” Jaebum chokes, watching Bambam swirl his tongue around his right nipple.

 

Bambam reaches down and strokes Jaebum’s length through his pants, putting pressure where he thinks the head is. He’s not really sure how Jaebum likes to be touched - he’s just doing it based on what he himself likes. The way Jaebum’s hips thrusts upwards and the groan he rips out of Jaebum seems like he’s on the right track.

 

“Is that good, hyung?” Bambam asks, genuinely. “Do you like that?” He sucks little marks around Jaebum’s chest, moving horizontally until he can work his mouth over the other nipple and use the leftover wetness to flick his thumb over and over with slicked ease.

 

“Yes,” Jaebum sighs and slides his fingers through Bambam’s hair. “ _Yes_.”

 

Bambam digs his palm onto the base of Jaebum's cock, pleased to hear a hitch in his hyung's breath.

 

“More,” Jaebum gasps.

 

The request makes Bambam pause, mouth leaving his skin and eyes locking together. Bambam takes a deep breath and nods. This is it.

 

He lifts himself up and hooks his thumb onto the elastic band of his pants, watching Jaebum watch _him_ until he decides to yank it all off in one go. That way, he can't hesitate. Bambam shoves his pants down, can't help the hiss in relief when his cock finally springs free, and lets it drop to the floor.

 

There's no time to be embarrassed - because once Jaebum strips down to full nudity too, he's suddenly laid out on his belly, elbows sinking into the mattress and hands on the innermost part of Bambam's thighs to spread Bambam's knees apart.

 

And then, the shock of what Jaebum's about to do hits him.

 

Jaebum's tongue darts out, and the tip of it dips into the slit of his cock.

 

“Oh _shit_ ,” Bambam gasps, eyes wide and jaw dropping. He jolts in disbelief at both the sensation and the imagery - and feels a mixture of excitement and horror when the sudden movement causes his cock to slap across Jaebum's face, smearing precum along his cheek and mouth.

 

Bambam squeaks and rushes to apologize despite the deep moan Jaebum lets out. “Sorry! I'm so sorry, I wasn't prepared for you to - !”

 

“It's okay.” Jaebum licks his lips, eyes fluttering shut at the tease of a taste. “I don't mind.” He looks up at Bambam darkly.

 

A second shock rips through Bambam. Jaebum - Jaebum liked that.

 

Bambam has no idea what to do with this information.

 

Actually, that's a lie; Bambam has many, _many_ ideas about this. It's just - how exactly does one react to their fantasies morphing into reality? Because out of all the times Bambam spent jerking off thinking about Jaebum engulfing his length, he never actually dared to believe it would happen. Or that it would happen so soon.

 

He can't believe it. Can't believe that Jaebum is sucking on the tip of his cock _right now_ and slobbering all over it to get it wet while spreading his legs and humping the bed. His ass is bouncing up and down, on full display for Bambam to see. Jaebum licks a long stripe from the base to the tip and sighs as he plays around with it with his loose, pliant lips.

 

Bambam can't _fucking_ believe it.

 

“Oh my god… _hyung_ ,” Bambam throws his head back while moaning, thighs spreading a little more to give Jaebum more access. Jaebum eagerly takes up the given space and presses his face in to lick along his balls. Beads of precum start leaking and spilling over the edge - it's taking all of Bambam's willpower to keep himself from coming right then and there. Liquid fire shoots down his stomach, and his cock is practically throbbing by the time Jaebum stretches his mouth over it and sucks harshly.

 

“Fuck,” Bambam hisses. His legs are quivering and his hips are starting to thrust in time with Jaebum's bobs. “Fuck, Jaebum hyung, you're so good at this.”

 

Jaebum looks up, mouth full with cock. The light dances in his eyes.

 

Bambam decides he doesn't like the look of that and thrusts into his mouth off-beat purposefully, knowing it'll throw Jaebum off his course and wipe the smug look off his face.

 

And it does - Jaebum pulls off with a gasp of air and coughs a few times with a red face.

 

Bambam immediately feels bad and sits him up, caressing his face until he calms down.

 

“Sorry,” he deflates. “I'm bad at this, I'm sorry.”

 

“What?” Jaebum's voice is rough. “No, you're fine. You don't have to apologize.”

 

“This is my first time with a man,” Bambam fiddles with his fingers. Jaebum's eyebrows shoot up, and then relaxes into something that screams, 'oh, right.’ “I don't really know what I'm doing - I mean, I kind of know, but it's not the same as… being experienced.”

 

“It's okay,” Jaebum smiles. “I can teach you.”

 

“Yeah?” Bambam says hopefully.

 

“Yeah.” Jaebum pulls him by his chin and kisses him, reassuring. “I got you.” Then, he freezes. “Please tell me you at least have lube.”

 

Bambam snorts and swats his shoulder. “Of course I do - that's offensive.”

 

“Just making sure,” Jaebum shrugs, amused. “Can you get it?”

 

Bambam's back straightens. “Yeah. Yeah, uh…” He stretches over to the bedside table and pulls on the same partially closed drawer from before, rummaging around until he feels the right bottle, along with a packet or two of condoms. Bambam sneaks a glance at Jaebum's dick. He didn't think about sizing. Hopefully Jaebum will fit these too.

 

He lets out a long exhale, shoulders relaxed. Now that he's admitted to being inexperienced, and heard that Jaebum wouldn't mind teaching him in response, he feels a lot better about the whole thing. It's like a weight has been lifted off of him, knowing that he doesn't have to be perfect on the first try. Maybe it's better to have someone else do it for him in the first place - give up a little bit of control. Because the main reason he keeps backing out after staring at the width of his dildo every time so far is the doubt about it feeling good. To finger himself open, it takes effort. And by the time he's worked a third finger in, he's bored and tired, dick kind of drooping but vaguely still horny. It's a weird situation to be in.

 

“Bam,” Jaebum calls, and Bambam falls out of his daze. Jaebum pulls him closer by his wrist, pressing a brief kiss at the corner of his lips and taking the lube from his hand. “Are you ready?” He asks while popping the lid open, pours some onto Bambam's hand and slicks up his fingers.

 

Bambam purses his lips, red creeping up his face.

 

Oh.

 

He plays with his wet fingers slightly, using his thumb to spread it across all four fingers evenly.

 

He didn't think he was going to have to put on a show for Jaebum - not that the idea is abhorrent. It's just unexpected.

 

“I'm ready,” Bambam says with determination. “Are you?”

 

Jaebum's gaze travels down, and he licks his lips when he answers, “I've been ready for you for a while now.”

 

The suggestive comment lies _just_ beneath the limit of what Bambam can handle. His length is aching now, and Bambam feels even more compelled to do a good job, if only to make sure that Jaebum is pleasured just the way he likes it -

 

Jaebum slides down on his back and spreads his legs to an obscene degree, putting himself up on display without an ounce of shame. It’s as if he’s been waiting for this moment, and he can’t hold back any longer.

 

Bambam’s jaw drops - possibly for the nth time in this hour alone. His heart _hammers_ as the realization of what Jaebum wants smacks him in the face.

 

“ _Hyung_?” Bambam can’t help but raise his voice in shock. His head snaps down to look at his slick fingers and he feels the wind being knocked out of him a second time. “I thought - I thought you wanted _me_ to bottom - I?” He squeaks.

 

Jaebum’s eyes widen, and he props up on one elbow. “ _Oh_ ,” he gasps and draws his knees together. Bambam thinks it’s funny of him to choose _now_ to be embarrassed, especially when he just - well. “Uhm - do you want to?”

 

Bambam’s mouth opens and closes like a fish. He knows he looks dumb but he can’t formulate his thoughts, let alone tell Jaebum what he wants. Because what _does_ he want? He just spent the past few weeks trying to prepare himself for Jaebum only to realize he’s got the whole idea wrong. “I don’t know,” he admits awkwardly. “I didn’t really think…” His eyes find Jaebum’s. “I didn’t imagine it would be like this?”

 

Jaebum purses his lips and averts his eyes. “I think I know what you mean.”

 

Bambam tilts his head, confused.

 

“People don’t expect me to… like it. Because of how I look.”

 

Bambam clamps his mouth shut and feels shame creep up his face and hang heavily over his shoulders. Yeah. He definitely understands, and he instantly feels horrible for assuming things about Jaebum like that. It’s because Jaebum _looks_ tough and intimidating by default, even though every single time he’s really just blanking out and thinking about what he wants to eat later. He wears leather jackets and loose band tees because they’re comfortable to him, not because he’s legitimately the _bad boy_ of every teenage wet dream. His own music is dark and sexy, but people often forget that’s penned nearly a hundred songs for girl groups and mainstream pop artists as well.

 

Bambam shouldn’t have judged him - shouldn’t have made him feel as small as he looks right now, all hunched in over himself when his preferences shouldn’t be a topic of shame.

 

“Don’t feel bad - I’m sorry I just assumed, Jaebum hyung. I don’t know where I got the idea that I absolutely had to be the one to bottom, but it made me try really hard to practice being a good partner for you. So, this was - surprising.” Bambam leans in and peppers kisses on Jaebum’s cheek.

 

“You’ve been practicing?”

 

“Mhm.” Bambam fights down the embarrassment as he confesses, “Right before you arrived, actually.”

 

“...I see.” A shine of consideration flashes over Jaebum’s eyes, which makes Bambam swallow thickly when Jaebum moves to caress his hip. “Wanna show me next time?”

 

Bambam raises his eyebrows, and then breaks into a smile. “Of course.” He seals the promise with his lips, brushing them against Jaebum’s sweetly until Jaebum smiles too. Jaebum places a hand behind Bambam and pulls them down together, so that Bambam can fit snugly between his legs.

 

They lose themselves in just kissing for a while longer, but then Bambam regains half the wit to reach down between their heated bodies and circle his finger around Jaebum’s rim before the lube dries out. He decides to take his chance and push his finger past the ring of muscle ever so slightly.

 

Jaebum bucks into his hand with a small gasp, thighs spreading wider and quivering with anticipation.

 

“Tell me what you want, hyung,” Bambam murmurs over Jaebum’s mouth, “Teach me how to do you good.” He pushes in a little further and silently marvels at how easily Jaebum is able to give in to him, at how tight and hot he feels even with just this one finger. The angle is new for Bambam too - he’s used to having to bend his wrist and curl his fingers just to reach. Bambam thinks about how this would feel on his cock, and bites down on a groan.

 

“I want… more,” Jaebum pants and grabs onto Bambam desperately.

 

Bambam starts moving his finger in and out, and watches raptly as Jaebum’s eyes close shut, head lolling back onto the pillow and neck baring for Bambam to sink his teeth into.

 

“More?” Bambam teases. “How so?”

 

“Touch me - anything,” Jaebum hisses, slowly getting more and more frustrated as Bambam drags this on. His cock is curled up towards his stomach, leaking.

 

“Can I add another one?”

 

“ _Yes_.”

 

Bambam smirks at his desperate tone and slips a second finger in, testing out the feeling by shallowly swirling his fingers closer to Jaebum’s entrance. He watches Jaebum stretch over him, and then thrusts in, knuckle deep. Jaebum moans, so he does it again, and again. Jaebum doesn’t disappoint him, breath hitching and lips spilling his name every time he pushes in and twists so that the wet sound of lube squelches against his skin. Suddenly, he’s reminded of the pornography he’s been studying, and starts scissoring him open.

 

“ - _Ugh_.” Jaebum’s hips start moving along with his hand, and Bambam greedily drinks in the sight of him completely flushed. Once a third finger is snugly fit inside, Jaebum’s back arches. “Bam…” he begins.

 

“Hm?”

 

“Curl - curl your fingers.” He attempts to guide Bambam by his wrist.

 

“Like this?”

 

Bambam presses along the soft heat of Jaebum’s walls - and hits something hard.

 

Jaebum lets out a strangled noise in pleasure and whimpers. His entire body trembles for a second - and he quickly grabs onto the base of his cock to stop himself from coming.

 

Bambam’s mouth drops, and he tries rubbing against that spot again.

 

“Oh _fuck_ \- !” Jaebum chokes and tightens his grip even harder, fingers forming a small ring at the base. His cock is visibly pulsing, a thick vein running up his shaft and beads of precum dripping down towards his hand. “ _Fuck_.” He clenches his jaw - Bambam’s fingers are longer and knobbier at the joints, which means he can reach further than Jaebum can by himself. He’s so hard, he just might come any second.

 

But he wants to do it on Bambam’s cock.

 

“Bambam - fuck me - please - I need you _now_.”

 

“I - !” Bambam gapes. After a beat, his eyes harden. “Okay. Okay. hyung.”

 

He pulls away from Jaebum and, reluctantly, withdraws his fingers from his hole. The sudden vacancy has Jaebum hissing in displeasure, which makes Bambam hurry to rip open a condom and slide it over his length. Even that small action has Bambam keeling in pleasure. He’s been neglecting his cock for so long everything feels sensitive.

 

When Bambam lines up his cock towards Jaebum’s entrance, Jaebum hooks his legs around his hips and pulls him forward.

 

The head slips in without resistance, and they both moan at the intense pleasure, almost in _relief_.

 

“Oh my god…” Bambam whispers, watching himself bottom out. Jaebum is practically sucking him in, hot and pliant while being incredibly tight at the same time. It’s nothing like he’s ever felt before. His hands grab onto Jaebum’s thighs, fingers digging into the flesh.

 

Jaebum heaves heavily at the wide stretch. His mouth hangs open in a silent scream as Bambam begins to rock into him, skin slapping against skin. He digs his heels into Bambam’s back, somehow trying to get him even _deeper_.

 

“Harder - !” Jaebum groans, drooling as he bucks his hips up in time with Bambam’s thrusts. “Harder, _please_.” Heat rapidly builds up at his groin, and he’s intoxicated by the feeling of Bambam filling him up to the brim. He loosely pumps his cock up and down, making a mess out of himself as Bambam complies with his request and snaps his hips faster.

 

“ _Jaebum_ ,” Bambam gasps sharply next to Jaebum’s ear. He slams into Jaebum wildly, causing the bedframe to consistently hit the wall in time with their fucking. “You feel so good, hyung.”

 

He’s not going to last very long, not with all this pent up tension and the fact that he’s been on the edge of release for a long time. Jaebum looks so - gone - that Bambam almost feels sorry for cutting the dreamy look on his face short. He wraps his hand around Jaebum’s cock and yanks - _hard_.

 

Jaebum snaps forward with a cry, sweat rolling down his neck and legs losing strength around Bambam’s hips.

 

“Come, hyung. I want to see you come,” Bambam says as he flicks his wrist, thrusts falling out of rhythm in favor of jerking Jaebum off.

 

“ _Bambam_ \- !”

 

Jaebum spills over the both of them, shooting thick, white ropes of come onto his stomach as his body tenses up to counter the harsh orgasm that rips through his senses. He clenches around Bambam’s cock, and the tight, convulsing suction tips Bambam over the edge too.

 

They breathe heavily over each other, with Bambam riding out his orgasm and slipping in and out of Jaebum for as long as he can.

 

Bambam collapses on top of him by the end of it, and the both of them recover together in silence, never minding the grime sticking in between them.

 

-

 

(Jaebum smiles at him fondly, and Bambam is washed over with something like love.)

 

-

 

When Bambam wakes up, it’s much too early in the morning. The sun has barely risen, and Jaebum is still fast asleep by his side. He’s peacefully curled around a pillow, blanket haphazardly flung over his lower half.

 

Bambam smiles at the image, warmth spreading across his chest.

 

Eventually, he gets up just to go pee, but finds Latte waiting for him outside the bathroom.

 

“Aw,” he coos quietly, petting his head with the back of his hand before picking him up completely into his arms and walking back into the bedroom. As quietly as possible, Bambam rolls onto the mattress and lets Latte squeeze in beneath his chin. He closes his eyes, falling asleep for the second time to soft purrs.

 

-

 

 

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/146851312@N03/46355300724/in/dateposted-public/)


End file.
